Emotions and Spirituality
My grandfather who lives far away has been diagnosed with cancer that’s progressing quickly. I feel angry. How do I deal with that?

It’s hard to face the thought of losing someone you love. Being far away makes it even harder. First, it’s important to talk to people. Talk to your family. Talk to your friends. People who’ve gone through what you’re going through and can give you the benefit of their experience. Even though you’re far away from your grandfather, you don’t have to be alone.

Anger is a normal response to being far away from a loved one who is ill and dying. The anger can be an expression of frustration, with the unfairness of the illness, with your inability to change things, or perhaps guilt that you don’t live closer. The important thing is to let your grandfather know you care. This probably means a lot to him.

Even though you’re not with your grandfather, there are things you can do and say in the time you have left. Find ways to be a part of your grandfather’s life and show you care, even from a distance. You can phone, write letters, or send emails. You can even send small things you know he likes. Visit if you can. Realize that even if you lived nearby, you still couldn’t spend every minute together. You may live far away, but distance is no obstacle to expressing your feelings and your grandfather knowing you care.