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When is it time for hospice? 
Started by Pooka
14 Jul 2012, 4:49 AM

I wanted to just talk. Maybe someone can relate. The last few weeks have been something...I can hardly explain. We have had a trip to ER several trips to the dr. My husband quality of life is horrible. I think I have said it before...slow death. I wonder if this is just a stage where he will bounce back. We have been in and out of hospital since before Memorial Day weekend and it has been downhill. I don't know whether I am going or coming.

I don't know if I've asked this question or not, but just when is it time to call hospice? If a person's quality of life is almost non existence, if pain control is a constant battle, every day the body is declining...when is it time to call? I can not understand for the life of me why his onc has not said enough is enough...will they ever say...UNCLE?
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Reply by Cath1
14 Jul 2012, 6:00 AM

Hi Pooka:

I just now saw your message and I hear your hurt and frustration, not to mention sheer exhaustion! I don't have the answer about when you shoud call hospice, but from reading your other posts to Carriek I got the impression that your husband still may want to choose more active treatment. If this is the case, could that be the reason his doctor is not suggesting hospice at this point in time?

It's almost 2 am and I need to sleep, but I just wanted to let you know before I do that I saw your message. There are many other members here who are better able to address your concerns because they have experience working or volunteering with hospice and I'm sure someone will soon respond to you.

Wishing you a peaceful night and try to let your immediate worries go until you receive some guidance you can trust. I'm so sorry you have to go through all of this hardship and of course I feel very sad for your husband's situation.

Until the next time we chat, take care and get some rest, Pooka - we are listening!:-)

With affection -hugs- xo
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Reply by Tian
14 Jul 2012, 8:37 AM

Dear Pooka

Struggling as you and your husband are and especially if he doesn't object I see no harm in calling hospice right now. From what you say you are justified in thinking the time for admission may be now. If they say it is still too early then they should tell you what the pertinent circumstances should be and you'll be able to have some bearings. That should provide some benefit when you are being tossed and turned every which way. Your request is very basic. Insist on straight answers. Please keep us informed.

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