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Reply by TiredDaughter
15 Aug 2016, 2:07 AM
Hi Katherine

Thank you for asking - I've been meaning to update this thread, and was reading about other people's experiences, but wasn't sure if mine is still relevant... After a month at the hospice, my mom was moved to the long term palliative care. I was hesitant at first as that hospital is much farther from both my home and work - but I'm so happy she's there! It's a new beautiful modern building, with big windows and great views and parks for walks, it's definitely a place where one would love to spend their last days!

She was moved 4 months ago, and obviously outlived her short-term prognosis, and keeps enjoying every day as much as she can. The stuff there is amazing, and I guess because the patients aren't dying every few days - the whole atmosphere is more upbeat, they even have some activities (my mom's favourite is music and ice-cream on Fridays :)) I found a PSW who lives nearby and comes over every weekday to take mom for a walk and help her eat lunch or dinner. I went back working full time, so only come twice on weekdays after work and once or twice on weekends. My daughter is also coming at least once a week. So, even without a big family and no friends who visit, mom doesn't feel forgotten - I hope...

Even her roommate is great - she was at the same hospice as my mom, and also got kicked out after a month for outliving her short stay. We have good days and bad days, and sometimes I wonder if full brain radiation was a good decision (as her short-term memory is completely gone - and she's more like a patient with a severe dementia...), but the happy look on her face after we spend couple hours in the park on a beautiful day like today makes it all worth it :)

I don't know how much longer she has left, but at least I don't wish that it'd be over soon -  everybody knows her there, and greets us when I roll her out, and she always answers "Still alive!" when somebody asks "How are you?" - and we all laugh and smile...

So I guess I'm not the tired daughter anymore. More like calm and grateful. I've accepted the fact that I've lost my mother the way I knew her some months ago... But I really enjoy just sitting in silence and watching the clouds, birds and squirrels (instead of some silly movies) with my newly found zen master :)
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