Discussion Forums

 
Reply by JennJilks
06 Apr 2014, 2:05 PM

It is very difficult when you are faced with your own mortality, Suzanne. You are wise to reach out. What I find is that many of my clients talk to me about things that worry them, or about their funeral plans.


As end-of-life approaches, you should make your wishes known to your family. You daughter seems to be struggling. Your husband will be your best advocate.

 
Report this post      
 
Reply by JennJilks
06 Apr 2014, 2:13 PM

Suzanne,
I do not know what disease you are facing. It sounds terribly difficult to me. My last two clients have had ALS, and were unable to speak at their end-of-life. It is frustrating for family, as much as themselves. One grandchild bought a text -to-speech app for her iPad. It really helped with communication.

This is a time of reflection for you. 

I have some questions for you: if you have the energy, or dictate them for one of your family members or a volunteer to write down. This has been shown to be therapeutic by research in nursing. 
This is only one part of your life. End-of-life. You have done much, as is reflected in the grief and pregrieving your daughter is doing. It is normal and healthy. You have given her life and made a difference. You have shown her what it is to love. For this you should be proud. Some of my clients die alone, unloved, with no family around them. We, as volunteers, do the best we can to support them.

I am sorry that I an functionally unilingual! My children are all bilingual, as are my grandkids (who correct my pronunciation all the time -mon Dieu)! 
 
Life Review Questions



  • Tell us about your childhood. 

  • What was school like?

  •  What about your teenage years? 

  •  Did you like school? 

  • What did you do for fun in your youth?       

  •  Tell us about your family members. 

  •  What about your best friends? 

  •  Tell me about overcoming an obstacle in your life. 

  •  What is your deepest regret or disappointment in your life? 

  •  What do you think are the most important things about life? 

  •  What are your life’s achievements? 

  •  What do you find are the most satisfying things in life?

  •  Who have you admired and why? 

  •  Describe the kind of person you have been. 

  •  What were the happiest moments in your life? 

  •  What messages would you like to leave your family? 

  •  What mystifies you about life today?  

  • What are you most afraid of?


 
Report this post      
 
Reply by passirose
07 Apr 2014, 3:08 AM

Colleen you are right about the difficulties I encouter by putting my thought together and writting it down with my fingers, numbs and hard like wood pieces.  Luckily today I feel a little better, so I use this time to read and answer my emails and all.


NatR you are so sweet.  You know if my contribution can help other, that would be great.  Have a good night NatR  xxx.


JennJilks, I am lucky everything is almost in order and my hubby is the one I can rely on.   For your information, I have metastatic inflammatory breast cancer, some of the mets I have are Lymphangitic Carcinomatosis.  IBC and lymphangitic c. are both rare and agressive, and by the time you think you get use to it, it comes out with a revenge. 


Thanks for sharing the scale document and the Life review question I will use it and see if I can translate part of it.  On the same purpose, I have a 12 points sheet, already in french I will share with you if you want.


Sincerely,


Suzanne

Report this post      
 
Reply by NatR
07 Apr 2014, 1:23 PM

Dear Suzanne,

it is so good to see a note from you.  I am glad to know that support really helps through the rough spots.

i hope that your energy boost and your ability to keep in touch continues - as I continue to think of you and wish you a good day.

wherever you are I hope you are finally feeling the touches of spring!  After one final (I can only hope) storm this paat Friday and Saturday - I am one of the ones who really is wishing for some warmth and sun !!

last night when I went to bed it was mild and raining :). Today it's trying to be sunny and the snow has disappeared a bit more - there is hope for spring!!

i am sending you a warm hug and wishing you a comfortable and peaceful day!
with best wishes,
natR xx 
Report this post      
 
Reply by KathCull_admin
28 Apr 2014, 3:25 PM

Hello Suzanne
Just wanted to let you know I was thinking about you. Writing you reminds me that I have not yet fully committed to learning the french language but it is still a goal! We live in a more francophone area of the city and so when I am feeling brave will go to the Boulanger and ask for pain chocolat (although some have told me I should be saying chocolat croissant:) Either one tastes good to me!

Hope the weather is warm for you and that you are comfortable.

Warmly
Katherine
Report this post      
 
Reply by cocopham
04 May 2014, 6:41 PM

Chère Suzanne,

J'ai du peser sur le mauvais bouton sur le clavier, mon message est parti avant que je puisse le finir!!!

Comment va votre respiration?
JE pense souvent à vous et me demande si la situation s'est détériorée ou c'est stable...
Comme j'avais commencé à écrire, le printemps tarde beaucoup à venir cette année, mais nous entendons quand meme les oiseaux chanter le matin, et les crocus pointer leur jolis boutons!
Nous comprenons combien c'est difficile de supporter le changement dans notre condition de santé, surtout si la maladie revient «avec rage»! 
Nos prières sont offertes chaque jour  aux grands malades et vu mon expérience de travail dans les soins palliatifs, je ressens profondément le désarroi des grands malades....Que la Paix et l'Amour vous entourent pour vous donner la force d'endurance devant les souffrances....

Le mois de Mai est le mois du Muguet en France et je vous offre (dans la penseé) tout un grand bouquet pour ce 4 mai ....la semaine prochaine sera la Fête des Mères, et on ne vous oubliera pas!Smile
Avec toutes mes amities,
cocopham 
Report this post      


Our Partners
Asked and Answered
Asked and Answered

Find out what Canadians
are asking

Ask a Professional
Ask a Professional

Our team of experts answers
your questions about
life-threatening illness and loss.

Just want to talk?
Just want to talk?

Join the Discussion
Forums

Books, Links, and More
Books, Links, and More

Recommended by our team

Programs and Services
Programs and Services

Find local, regional,
and national services