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Reply by Carlyn

23 Oct 2015, 4:48 PM

Hi Wits End,

This is excellent, that your family members and you have coordinated this.

I think it's safe to say you can let go a bit and give yourself some time to heal while your Aunt and Sister take on the appointments. Leave all that in their hands now. Please try to let guilt go.

You've done this for 9 years....you have nothing to feel guilty about. You came through in a huge way for your Mom and will continue to, picking her up on weekends. Your sister and Aunt are helping now and it's okay to trust them to take good care of your Mom during the appointments etc.

Give yourself the time and allowance to focus on yourself and take care of you.

((Hug))
Carlyn

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Reply by Tian

23 Oct 2015, 5:43 PM

Carlyn makes perfect sense to me.

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Reply by wits end

25 Oct 2015, 2:07 PM

Yes it is time to take care of myself. I have let go of the guilt about now wanting to be there during the week. I really need the time to come and go whenever I decide or if I decide, or if I just want to be by meyself. This has been a long journey in spite of all the problems. A respite is long overdue.

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Reply by NatR

25 Oct 2015, 3:38 PM

Good Sunday morning everyone,

just wantEd to add a comment about Guilt

There seems to be No Way to relieve the Guily we all feel!
one thing I can say this forum has helped me - is that we all feel the same weight and feelings of inadequacy - no matter how many hours we give care or support someone - we all want to do more Til it breaks us down

there is nothing to be gained by losing ourselves to guilt - which will always tug at our elbows .
We deserve rest and peace of mind

that is the common theme here - rest, renew, pay attention to self
glad you all post your inner most thoughts / you all help me too

hugs and best wishes
natr
👍😃

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Reply by KathCull_admin

01 Dec 2015, 2:47 PM

Good morning,
Wits end - did you get some time to look after yourself? It can take some time to get used to just 'being' and not 'doing'. Were you able to rest?

Charlie1 started How do other people deal with caring for a loved one earlier this year.

Do you think your siblings have a different appreciation for all you do for your mother?

Take care
Katherine

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Reply by wits end

02 Dec 2015, 12:15 AM

Sorry I havne't been on in a while. Mom just finished up pallitive radiaton on a new mass behind her breast bone. My sister stepped up and looked after Mom during the week, while I had time to myself. I picked her up on weekends to bring her home. The radiation has taken it's toll on my and now she is very tired and coughing more than ever. Her weight has dropped below 100 lbs and i am worried she may not make it to the holidays. :( She is weak and not really eating a lot. We are on a roller coaster now.

Thank you for thinking of me

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Reply by Carlyn

02 Dec 2015, 12:23 AM

((Wits End))

I'm keeping you and your Mom and family in my thoughts.

Carlyn

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Reply by NatR

02 Dec 2015, 1:04 AM

Dear Wits End,

sending my thoughts your way - I can't imagine how you feel. Worrying day to day with the holidays around the corner. Hoping that you will
feel the thoughts we send your way - and deal with one day at a time

very glad you were able to get a bit of rest -but sometimes it just isn't enough / hang in there
best wishes,
natR

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Reply by KathCull_admin

06 Apr 2016, 4:37 PM

Hello everyone,
Was just thinking about you wits end and wondering how you, your mom and family are doing. I hope there has been space for you to breath.

Katherine

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