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Reply by JennJilks

24 Dec 2015, 3:43 PM

I think your daughter is right!
My condolences, Debbie.
You will get through this.
What a beautiful death, to go peacefully, with family at your side.
Yes, you will survive. Mourn her loss, remember the good times and the gifts that she gave you: life, love and all that that entails.
Take it easy on yourself. Give yourself time to heal. It does take time.
You can know that you gave her a good death.
All the best.

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Reply by moderator | modératrice

24 Dec 2015, 5:20 PM

Hi Debbie,
I'm so sorry to hear about your losses. I'm so glad that you have your daughter with you. Don't be afraid to show her your pain and to grieve together. The busy-ness of the next few days will help guide you for the next little while.

We're here whenever you need us.
Colleen

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Reply by debbie123

25 Dec 2015, 8:43 AM

Sitting up again...thinking of my mom and my dog freckles. Wishing they were still here. Also thinking of the wonderful people on here that I have met . I want to wish everyone a " Merry Christmas " .May your day be peaceful and filled with good memories. Thank you all for being there for me. I could not do this alone. You all are very special to me.

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Reply by Lcon

28 Dec 2015, 7:09 AM

Sorry for your both losses. My heart aches for you.

I lost my dad on the 23rd of dec as well. Just minutes after I curled up beside him holding his hand. Going to sleep, hoping he'd be better for the morning and able to communicate again as it happened so quickly within 2 days. I thought we we would spend christmas together :(
thanks for sharing your story. It helps to know I'm not alone! <3

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Reply by KathCull_admin

28 Dec 2015, 3:31 PM

Good morning
Welcome Lcon - I am glad you found us and posted. It is always hard to lose someone we love but it seems especially so at times that are usually associated with happiness. Not only is your father no longer there but you spent your first Christmas without him.

Debbie123, I have been thinking about you and the life changing events you have experienced. I am glad you are able to take time and think about your mom and Freckles. It's hard I know. Are you also able to have some time with friends and family?

It's always a balance between grieving and being thankful for what was - not sure if you saw the thread Two sides of the same coin Another member, Oldbat posted there as well.

What are some of your memories of Christmas with your parents Lcon and Debbie123? Do you have family and friends who support you?

Katherine

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Reply by debbie123

29 Dec 2015, 12:06 AM

Hi Lcon....
This is debbie123....no u are not alone. I thought the same thing. Asking myself how can this happen at such a happy time of year. December has not been a happy month for me. Being on this site has helped me connect with others as I felt alone. People I knew were sorry but they didn't understand what I was going through. The people on this site know n understand. I held my mom's hand the whole time as I sang n talked with her right up to the moment she took her last breathe. She looked at me n smiled ..nodded her head n was gone. I screamed n begged her to come back. I cried n now I feel numb. It was the hardest thing I ever went through. My mom was everything to me. I am so sorry for the loss of your dad. I am sure us being there with them meant everything to them as they felt our love beside them within them. I am here if u want to talk. Anytime...

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Reply by debbie123

29 Dec 2015, 2:28 AM

Hi Katherine...
I have talked with friends but family had been pulled apart. I tried but I think my mom was the glue that kept us together. I try to contact my brothers but they won't answer my calls or messages I leave. Friends are more family to me now. I don't understand that cause my one brother and I use to be so close. I read the two sides of the same coin. Said perfectly....wow...I have memories of my mom and I celebrating Christmas eve at my one brothers house then having Christmas breakfast just with her at her house. There is not one Christmas that went by that we missed spending together. Mom and I did everything together..swimming..rollerskating..ice skating...dancing. so many great memories. I am fortunate to have them all and lucky to of had such a wonderful mom.

Debbie

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Reply by Carlyn

29 Dec 2015, 2:40 AM

Dear Debbie, I am sorry your Mom and your dear dog Freckles are not with you anymore.

Dear Lcon, I am sorry you lost your Dad as well.

Parents are glue for some families. My heart goes out to both of you.

Thank you Katherine for posting the link to that thread. Been difficult holiday for me this year so words are not coming out well or in a helpful way. I've kept each of you in my thoughts and will continue to in coming days. Hope to check back in soon.

My thoughts are with everyone

Carlyn

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Reply by debbie123

29 Dec 2015, 3:10 AM

Hi Carlyn..

Thank you for being there for me. Your guidance has helped me a lot. Pulled me through some rough patches. I didn't know where to go or what to do and listening to your words helped me understand things more . Sharing your experiences and knowing you understand helped me in more ways than you can imagine. I am so sorry for your loss in your past. We all suffer so much and are expected to hold our head up high. It is with the warm and support of people on this board like you that I am able to do just that. It is not easy but I will trudge on till each new day becomes a yesterday with tomorrow being a new beginning...a new memory...until I see my loved ones someday again.

Goodnight for now...DEBBIE

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Reply by Carlyn

29 Dec 2015, 4:45 AM

((Hug)) Debbie,

Thank you. We are all in this together. My brothers were similar to what you describe with yours now. We have only recently tried to discuss that, the distance during that time .... 8 years later. It's been rough.

Go gently with yourself and your loved ones the next while. I'm so glad you have your daughter and good friends. Focus on what makes you feel comforted and the two of you right now. That's what your brothers are doing with themselves and their families. It does hurt though.... I know how you feel a bit at least I think.

Carlyn

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