Hi
I just had to chime in when I read your post Carol. For several months after Henry died I didn't bother wearing any kind of make up - I knew it would run off and make a mess sooner or later. I used to think that crying meant I was having a bad day - and a no cry day was a good day. But I seem to be changing. I now see sadness and crying as normal. I loved and lost and mourn.
I also found figuring out whether to say 'our' or 'my' hard - still do. She is my daughter but she was our daughter.
I am a very linear person - need to get things done and orderly. I actually tried to grieve that way until a friend whose husband died a few years ago told me that grief is not linear. That helped me so much and allowed me to take a breath and give myself time. It has been 10 months now since he died and I still find I am more tired than I remember being. I try to be more careful in not taking on too much and like you I try to maintain activity, especially being outdoors.
One last thing - you have sparked me Carol:) our (?my) financial advisor told me to take my time - no rush to do anything even in regards to banking. Might I suggest that you be gentle with yourself, take your time and any help you are offered? The estate was pretty straighforward for me but it was very emotional to 'close' things down. The managers and teller at my bank got used to me crying.
NatR as always it is comforting to read your words.
Sleep well and hope the sun shines for you tomorrow.
Katherine