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Reply by Nikki99
04 Dec 2016, 6:28 PM

Hi Tereska,

I am so sorry to hear what you and your Mom are going through. It's definitely not easy with so many emotions going around and around. I went through the same thing a few years ago and found some lovely people from this group that supported me through the hardest time of my life. I hope you are finding the same from this group and it is helping to give you a bit of strength. It really helps to talk to those who have gone through it and are going through it. Know that you are not alone and there are people that understand what you are going through and are here to listen. Just take it all one day at a time and be with your Mom as much as you can. One thing I regret, is not taking more pictures and videos. I would definitely suggest doing that if you could. As hard as it is for me to watch videos, I wish I had more, especially for my son. Take care Tereska. 

Nikki 
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Reply by Tereska
27 Dec 2016, 11:51 AM

She is getting very weak and can't eat anything. Even with all the anit-emetic drugs she's on the nausea is relentless. Now she just wants to stay in bed all the time. She has done 3 chemo treatments so far and has 3 more to go but at what cost??? I support and respect whatever she decides to do but I am starting to feel like this is all getting too "big" for me. At least before even when she was feeling sick I always kind of knew how to help her but now I am at a complete loss.
I wanted to do videos and write recipes ect with her but now she is so weak that she can't follow the simplest conversation so I am so afraid that I missed my chance. I HATE this disease and what it's doing to her and I feel so helpless Cry
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Reply by Tian
27 Dec 2016, 4:44 PM

Dear Tereska

It is perfectly understandable if you feel overwhelmed. The most important person in your life is suffering and will pass away in the near future. But you do not need to feel entirely helpless because you can try to ease her suffering. Keep you mother's doctors informed about your mother's condition and ask what can help. You are right to wonder whether chemo is worth it.
See what they say. Ulimately it's your mother's decision whether to continue the therapy, as long as she is capable of making the decison. And continue to seek support wherever you an get it. Have you discussed palliative care with the doctors?

And don't lose hope that there may be better days after bad ones.

Tian 
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