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Reply by Phoebe

28 Jan 2014, 3:57 AM

I just lost my husband 3 weeks ago to cancer. I am 54 years old . I don't know how to carry on.

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Reply by KathCull_admin

28 Jan 2014, 4:39 AM

Dear Phoebe,

You have found a safe and warm community – I hope we can help you find the strength to carry on.

I’d like to introduce you to Paige96 who started the thread i've lost my husband and have no idea how to deal with it... If you post on the thread, she and others who post on it will be notified and I know will respond to you. On that thread you will also meet Marstin, Carolync, NatR and Xenia - all are warm, caring women who will bring you understanding and support .

Can you tell me a little more about yourself Phoebe and your husband? Do you have family and friends close by who are able to support you?

Take care

Katherine

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Reply by Phoebe

28 Jan 2014, 7:17 PM

Hello katherine,
Thank you for your quick reply. My husband was diagnosed in mid October with bone and lymph node cancer that had also spread to his lungs. We lost him New Year's Day. I have three daughters who are grown and two are married the other one lives in Australia. I live in the midland and Eglington area and was wondering if you know of any grief groups nearby.

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Reply by marstin

29 Jan 2014, 3:00 AM

Hi Phoebe,

I wanted to welcome you to the forum. How new your loss is, my heart goes out to you. On here you will meet many of us that have lost our partners to cancer and found so much support and kindness here. I lost my partner of 23 years a year and a half ago and then lost my mom within weeks of that. Finding this place to talk truly helped me to deal with the pain, the anger, the tears and the fears. It is a place where you can talk candidly and know that you are understood and supported. I think that meeting people on here will help you to realize that you are not alone.

I see that you have grown up daughters. Do the two married daughters live near you? Do you have close friends or family that you can lean on? Iask this because when I arrived here, I had very few people that I could turn to and had been a stay at home mom for many years so my world was quite small. Do you work? I know that when I looked for groups to join, I was surprised by how few there were and most were either for young widows or elderly ones. I am 58 and don't fit into either of those categories. Was your husband in pallative care? Many hospitals have support groups that can be joined. I am in BC and found one for widows and widowers near me that meets every two weeks but find that it isn't often enough. This forum has been great for helping me over the hurdles and it seems there are so many.

I hope that you continue to come back and share your emotions. Think of us as a big comfy blanket. We are as close as your keyboard.

Hugs,
Tracie

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Reply by KathCull_admin

29 Jan 2014, 3:32 AM

Hi Phoebe,

What a lot has happened in a few short months – sounds like your world has been turned upside down. I think you are wise to look into opportunities for support in your community.

The Scarborough Centre for Healthy Communities Bereavement Support at www.schcontario.ca is located at The HUB, 2660 Eglinton Ave East.

On this same site I found the ‘Hospice and Caregiver Wellness Program’ page which had the phone number for a Hospice Palliative Care or Bereavement Specialist number as 416.642.9445. I thought this might be a good place to start. Please let me know if you would like any more information.

Take care Phoebe and please know that your words/thoughts/fears are always welcome and safe here.

Katherine

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Reply by Phoebe

29 Jan 2014, 4:08 AM

Thank you Katherine I will call tomorrow, the Hub is very close to me.

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Reply by NatR

04 Feb 2014, 12:32 AM

Dear Phoebe,

my sincere sympathy to you on the loss of your husband. I am so sorry that you are feeling so alone, and I am glad you posted to the Forum.

everyone here has experienced losses, and being able to post notes to the thread means that from all across the country or around the world we can get responses from someone who understands how you feel.

I hope you have been able to follow up on Katherine's connection information for bereavement support.

we all get through the hard times, the loss, the pain, in different ways.
i am sending you warm thoughts tonight.
sincerely,

NatR

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Reply by Phoebe

04 Feb 2014, 1:18 AM

Thank you NatR

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Reply by KathCull_admin

02 Dec 2015, 2:54 PM

Hello
This thread started in December 2008! So many stories written here over the years. I was wondering how you have all managed over this time.

thatsnotme66 who bravely started the thread, janet 27 I so understand the wish to run away, so lost47 have you found the support you needed?, KERCIN you and your husband went through so much in a short period of time, Nada Sharon has some of the sadness lifted?, Plum1, cocopham, Cath1, JennJilks, NatR, Marstin - thank you for providing support and encouragement and often those words come because of experience and sadness in your own lives I am sure. Mcivor1941 you'll be glad to know we are still here listening, Jey it's just 4 short years since your husband died - have you found the support you needed? nanalovesu like you I appreciate knowing that I am not alone, Phoebe I hope you were able to find a support group in your area.

Thinking of you all this morning.
Katherine

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