Cath1 Thank you for all the support and comfort. I did make it through the first anniversary and it had its moments. I guess the most important was the trying to struggle with how do I make my life for me now while retaining the memory and dignity of the single most important time of my life. I cannot be who I am today without being who I was with Donna and how her life, love, brains, nagging :), teaching, etc made me more of who I am. So I have this tapestry of her memory and life her loving me into being and me which is not too shabby. It is one big pot of stew that needs to be simmered with some spices etc so it can be ready to be served to the world. Or I can just give up. Those are the choices.
Jane, I know that need to help and care it is so much a part of who we are as humans but it is reinforced when we care for a loved one. Some of us see ourselves and what we have more clearly and when we are going being a caregiver we loose part of how we defined ourselves. Keep inviting people become who you are defined by you and your memories. That is the adventure we are all on now.