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Remembering CarolynMarie 
Started by moderator | modératrice
16 Nov 2012, 9:31 PM

Months ago, Carolyn shared this Irish proverb “Do not resent growing old. Many are denied the privilege.” Indeed. And we had to say goodbye much too soon to Carolyn. November 15, 2012 Carolyn died peacefully in hospice care surrounded by her loving family.  

CarolynMarie - Daughter Sister Wife Mother Teacher Friend

Carolyn was also a cherished member of the Virtual Hospice community. I first met Carolyn (virtually) when I was the community manager of an online community for women with breast cancer. When cancer returned, I hesitated to tell her about Virtual Hospice. I’m so glad I took the chance. Carolyn embraced the opportunity to be a founding member and help build a community where people could share about the difficult questions that life often saves to the end. She wrote:
[Your posts] make me realize how important this outlet is, you people are, and Virtual Hospice is for being able to truly express my feelings without burdening my family ...  It really helps!  I admire the way you can see and feel and express the really important things!  Thank you! 
But as you remember Carolyn, what comes to mind? HER SMILE

We’ll miss Carolyn’s humour. Even when she talked about the tough stuff, she bracketed it with joy, hope and smiling laughter. She comforted with warmth. Here’s just one of her gems.
I always say, (one of my many useful little philosophies about life) that "Life is not a dress rehearsal." 

Thank you Carolyn. Your performance was stellar! Rest peacefully our dear friend.

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Reply by heatherh2408
17 Nov 2012, 2:46 PM

Thank you, Collen, for telling me about Carolyn.... It's been a long time since I cried like this, and even though there isn't a single day when I'm not grateful for my life, I feel a special bond with you and those on Sharing Strength who were there when I was diagnosed, and those who came in after me.  Carolyn was one of those who faced the journey head on, with determination, honesty, humour and grace. I remember when Carolyn joined our forum and how she never failed to share her experiences, her strength and her hope with others.  My heart is heavy for Carolyn's family, and I want them to know that her life mattered; that she made a difference in the lives of others on the same journey.  May she rest in peace and continue to cause laughter and hope, wherever she may be.

In remembrance,
Heather (Bella)   

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Reply by moderator | modératrice
18 Nov 2012, 1:30 PM

Thank you Heather for joining the Virtual Hospice community and helping us remember Carolyn.
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Reply by SharonMarie
18 Nov 2012, 2:08 PM

Heather, thank you for your kind words.  It warms the heart to know Carolyn touched your community as much as she touched all of her family and friends.  It was a long journey for her, she fought hard, but is now pain free.  I am so happy Colleen and I connected.  Again it brings me much joy to know that Carolyn had an outlet to talk about her fears.  

Carolyn was a strong, intelligent, inspiring, funny women, who was loved by so many.  She will forever be our Angel.  I will miss her so much, but the sweet memoires I have will keep her in my heart forever.
Thank You again,
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Reply by Tian
18 Nov 2012, 4:34 PM

Having only encountered Carolyn Marie through this website I just reread the entire Comfort/ Support or Help for Teens? thread that she initiated.   WOW!   WOW!    WOW!    I'm blinded by the light, incapable of describing the esteem in which I hold Carolyn Marie.  What a loss! And enabling gentle and courageous souls like Carolyn Marie and Jimmie to come across each other is an example of the internet at its finest. It is so telling that in coming up with the title of the thread Carolyn Marie did not refer to herself at all. The title is as relevant now as ever so I'm sure friends of Carolyn Marie, by definition, are doing what they can to support her daughter, son and husband.

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Reply by SharonMarie
18 Nov 2012, 5:38 PM

Hello Tian,
Wow I just read Carolyn's thread.  As I wipe away the tears, I am comforted by the fact that you, Cath1 and Jimmie meant so much to her.  Unlike Carolyn and the rest of you, I am a little uncomfortable writing in these blogs.  When I read your words they all seem so put together and meaningful.  I truly just want to say thank you to you all.  Visiting the Virtual Hospice somehow makes me feel close to her again.  Jimmie, I remember the one quote you wrote "there are no rules-just the stumbling of our broken hearts to hold, to love, and eventually, achingly to yield" I will never forget this.  The next time I visited her it stayed in my head and I felt like it was all ok.  I didn't know then how much she meant to you and you meant to her.
Thank you all from the bottom of my heart,
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Reply by Tian
18 Nov 2012, 5:52 PM

SharonMarie, it was our privilege to virtually meet Carolyn Marie. What an inspiration. (And your words seem so put together and meaningful to me.)
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Reply by Cath1
18 Nov 2012, 11:59 PM

Thank you, Colleen, for creating this special tribute to CarolynMarie! The photo of her that you chose to share here with us reflects her living spirit so well!

It's hard to explain to others in my "real life" how I am grieving the loss of CarolynMarie because not everyone understands the bonds we develop online in the virtual world. Thankfully, my children get it. Their acceptance and understanding of my feelings of loss help so much, as does hearing from her friends, SharonMarie, Megg, and Heather: Thank you all for sharing your memories, for your empathy and appreciation of your grief and ours! For me, the connection I feel with CarolynMarie is as genuine as those I feel with the people in my life whom I know and love in person. I can say here in this safe haven of Virtual Hospice without any shame that I do love our mutual friend, CarolynMarie! I miss her. I will always. I know you all feel the same way!

What helps more than anything is to feel that as a community at Virtual Hospice we are not alone in our sorrow. We have one another to acknowledge and share our feelings about losing CarolynMarie. She was one of us. She embraced each and every person here with her sensitivity, her kindness and her open heart! She made us each feel that as individuals we had a special relationship with her. We each did. We do.

CarolynMarie's ability to express herself honestly was impressive! She always told us how she really felt and I feel honoured that she awarded us with her trust! Her trust is a treasure that I will cherish as long as I live! She said once to Tian and I that she counted on us to respond to her and knew we would not let her down. That meant the world to me and will always! How grateful I feel for her generous, expansive and expressive heart!

We all felt real affection and admiration for CarolynMarie! No matter what we were discussing, she understood each of us and accepted us as we are without any pressure to be someone we are not. Most importantly, she trusted us to understand and accept her just as she was and however she was feeling at the time. Integrity was a word she lived by so well. The words we shared in moments of mutual vulnerability and hope are now precious and sacred memories. She was gifted in so many ways and how she chose to communicate so personally and inclusively with us all was among yet another of her special qualities. Jimmie found a direct route to CarolynMarie's heart! I am hoping that he knows always the profound impact her had on her as she lived through her most harrowing and heart-wrenching experiences of her last several months of life!

Since CarolynMarie has died, I have discovered that she was a Leo with a Virgo moon. I am a Cancer-Leo with a Leo Ascendant and a Virgo moon. Astrologically we had much in common. NatR is a Virgo. There were many stars aligning in the sky to connect us all I believe. Some may think that is a silly observation, but for me it helps to explain our simpatico association and easy rapport. CarolynMarie is now a stargazing Queen of the Heavens and her light and her love shine upon us all forever. That's what I believe!

I could write more about CarolynMarie and how she has touched us all but as Colleen said on Thursday, and as Jimmie has said often, words fail the heart at times like these. Nonetheless, I still search for the "right" words while knowing they don't exist because it is the thought and the feelings hidden deep in our words that convey the truth of our hearts. I concede to my comrades here that words are elusive for no eloquent composition or quality of words can fully capture a portrait of a life as seen in various lights by different people nor can they soften the pain of losing any person, but I trust that CarolynMarie would love our every awkward attempt to pay homage to her. She leaves us each with our own remembrances. I know without a doubt that CarolynMarie shall never be forgotten by any of us!

"I have learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel." - Maya Angelou

Thank you, our loving and memorable Angel, CarolynMarie for making us feel loving, loveable and loved, trusting, trusted and trustworthy, understanding, understandable and understood!

To CarolynMarie's family and friends, our hearts were made bigger and bolder and better for having known, for such a brief time, your precious sweetheart. As we all remember and pay tribute to CarolynMarie, please never forget that we remain here for you all. CarolynMarie is a radiant and brilliant beam of pure light shining her miracle of love upon your lives and ours forevermore. Heaven has a smiling Angel in the skies above. Shine on, sweet CarolynMarie!

With endless affection -hugs- xo

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Reply by SharonMarie
19 Nov 2012, 9:08 PM


Hello CarolynMarie's Virtual Angels,
I thought you all might like to see this beautiful tribute CarolynMarie's son did for her.  I don't think there is one picture were she is not smiling!  Hope you enjoy it as much as I did.  I know you all meant so much to her, yet you have never met, this might be away for you to get to know her a little better.  I hope I did this right!!!!!
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Reply by SharonMarie
19 Nov 2012, 9:09 PM

So I guess you can't just click the link, but if you copy and paste it to google it works! Tee hee, I wish one of my kids were here to show me how to do this the right way!
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