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Reply by NatR

14 May 2013, 8:36 AM

Dear Loll,

i am glad you were able to update us. It has to be comforting to know your Dad is surrounded by comfort and care.

however it does not relieve your fatigue and your need to be "on duty" and ready to go with every ring of the phone. You will be tired and your rest will come. But at this time you will continue to hold fast and be there for your Dad.

At least make sure you get some sleep, as without it you will get run down and have difficulty getting through the days

I appreciate very much your update and send a prayer your way.
you take good care of you. You are giving your all - it's what you want and need to do at this time.
sincerely
NatR

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Reply by Loll

17 May 2013, 2:03 AM

hi Yankee Girl,

Thanks so much for your nice message. I am so glad that Dad is where he is, it's exactly what he needs. He has less than a month left now. Im scared (and I hate to say it because this is not about me at all). what Im afraid of is what my reaction to his death will be. Im afraid of how deep the grief will be. Im not really afraid of being with him when he dies because it will be a relief for him. Im just so scared of how sad I'll be. I've never lost anyone this close to me before, and I've never been with someone while they die. like I said though, Im not afraid of seeing him die, just afraid of the depth of sadness. I don't even know if Im explaining it well.

Ill keep posting as things happen if I can
Thank you again for your kindness.
Loll

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Reply by Loll

28 May 2013, 8:41 PM

Dad is starting to call out for help, but is unable to verbalize what he needs, or he is unaware that he has called out. He is in his own world now, with not a lot of thought towards this world. I feel like I have lost him already. The nurse said there are no lucid moments anymore that she can see.
When I go to see him, will he still know me? I hate feeling nervous about going to see my own Dad, but it will be so hard if he doesn't know me. We are (were) so close, and it was only 4 days ago that we were still able to have a conversation, although limited. He still knew me.

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Reply by Loll

02 Jun 2013, 3:34 PM

can someone PLEASE tell me how it's possible for someone to be in the very final stages of death for 5 DAYS!!?? Watching this is unbearable and excruciating!!

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Reply by Tian

02 Jun 2013, 5:44 PM

Dear Loll

It is a terrible ordeal that you are going through. As you have experienced with the various time estimates since your father's diagnosis it is impossdible to precisely determine when someone will pass away. You have cared wonderfully for your father and the end will happen when it happens but it is very near. It is impossible to know how much your father can comprehend now so the best thing to do is still talk to him and be present. Holding his hand may also provide comfort. No one knows your father better than you. Do whatever you think may make him comfortable. Don't be afraid to tell the medical staff about any changes you see in your father and don't hesitate to ask them questions of any kind. Everyone wants what is best for your father. Peace.

Tian

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Reply by marstin

03 Jun 2013, 3:48 PM

Hi Loll

I am so sorry for what you are going through. I know when my mom was passing away that it was a slow process and all we could do is be there and talk to her and let her know that she was not alone. Although her kidneys were shutting down, it was many days before she finally took her last breath. As difficult as it is, I hope you can try to treasure those last days. They will most likely be etched within your mind long after your dad passes away. My mom spent alot of time shaking her fist at unknown beings and muttering things that we could not understand. In my mind she was telling whoever was on the other side, that she wasn't ready to go. When she did pass it was a difficult but fairly peaceful time and like so often happens I had told her it was okay to let go. She was my best friend who I was with every day so I understand how difficult this must be for you with your dad.

I send you big hugs,
Tracie

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Reply by Loll

04 Jun 2013, 1:00 PM

Dad is gone.

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Reply by Tian

04 Jun 2013, 1:22 PM

My sincere condolences. Please continue to let us know how you are doing.

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Reply by NatR

04 Jun 2013, 1:33 PM

Dear loll,

My sympathies to you. You have done an incredible job of supporting and caregiving. Now is your time to feel your feelings....to grieve, to cry, to let go.

As Tian said...keep posting...keep writing..keep sharing..it does help...
sending hugs,
NatR

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Reply by moderator | modératrice

05 Jun 2013, 2:13 AM

Dear Loll,

I, too, add my sincere condolences. Remember, you're not alone. We're here whenever you need us.
A big virtual hug from all of us.

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