Dear Paula,
please feel free to bring up whatever bothers you. Whether it's business, grief, family issues, whatever, it's all part of who you are at this moment.
I am sorry you have spent so much time and energy to try and find a location that works, for the business, and find a way to keep your moms spirit alive within that business that she enjoyed being part of.
but, it seems like road blocks are in your way. It seems like you have figured that out, that it's time to just let go - and I know, I feel, that losing, closing the store will feel like another loss for you.
am I right?
whether I am hitting the mark or not doesn't really matter.
what really matters is that you carry on, always with your moms memory close to you.
its okay to say, it's time for one door to close and another to open.
remember the essence and spirit of your mom will never be gone. You are part of her:)
you are going to be okay, not sure when, not sure how, but it will unfold.
now, about holidays, birthdays, anniversaries etc. wow, don't we all struggle to some extent with each of those things. Personally, I can relate to you in those dates that keep coming, and the seeming joy and happiness all around us. it's too much for me, I kind of float through holidays feeling a bit numb, feeling sadness, but somehow trying to find some way to make it a good day - for me, for whomever I meet.
what works for me isn't what works for others - but give yourself time. It's just new loss, and therefore most painful. But I can heat the strength, the courage, and the caring in you.
i am sending you a hug or two right now, and my thoughts that today you will be okay.
Write whenever, write what you are feeling.
Hugs and thoughts,
NatR