Good Morning!
Please forgive my absence and the length of time it has taken to respond. I hope that you are doing well. How are the renos coming along Tracie? Your daughter sounds like an incredible young woman....good for her for graduating and persevering!
First off, let me say that my daughter's communion was beautiful and I am sure she was being watched over from above also. It was hard not to allow myself to dwell and become too emotional on such a happy day. I missed my parents so much that day....they woud be so proud.
My son graduated from grade 8 last month and I found that incredibly emotional for me. Not only because I am a very proud Mom and that he is growing up...but again the missing family members pulled constantly on my heart.
As you may recall, I had decided to keep the store operating until around Thanksgiving. Well, I have to say, it takes every shred of strength most days...I am so close to just closing it now, it takes a whole lot of self talk to keep going. It is very difficult to keep doing something that you just don't have the heart to do. I am so tired of talking to people and feeling that I need to justify everything. I have always been more on the private, introverted side.
I am only open a few days a week and it still seems horrendous at times. That is hard for a lot of people to comprehend...it's just who I am. Ironically, since I have opened there have been issues nearly every week that have made me have to close for a day or more. If not a squirrel, then illness, then graduation, then our well died and we had no water....etc....
How can I not see it all as a sign of someone trying to show me that I should not be doing this? Crazy? Maybe I am hoping they are signs????
At least, I can finally say that I no longer care what anyone else will think of my decision to close when I announce it. I realize more every day that I need to do what is best for me and my family.
Everyone said the first year after their death would be the hardest...and it was very hard, but this last month I have been having a very hard time. Almost as if it has suddenly all become real and now I have to actually accept it. Does anyone else feel that way?
Thanks for listening again....
I hope you all have a good day!
Paula