Hi Tracie,
Oh my gosh, that is just too much heart ache, I am so, so sorry :( I am so glad that you have your daughters in your life and I hope they are able to support you. They say, you are never given more than you can handle, I think that's a load of bull. What else can you do but handle it?! I am so very sorry you had to go through all that, you sound like such a strong woman.
One thing I think that also scares me and has left me hopeless is, I used to believe in afterlife, like our loved ones spirits are still around us. But I don't know if I even believe it anymore and that part makes me feel hopeless because then I feel I will have absolutely nothing left of my Mom.
I have to say, today was one of the better days I have had in a while. It's been almost 2 weeks of awfulness but today was not bad. My little guy had a great time Trick or Treating, even though he probably didn't understand but it brought a lot of smiles and laughs. My Mom is talking about Christmas already and how they bought all this stuff and how they are going to set things up and how it's going to be special. I I am the type of person who has already started their Christmas shopping and I just get so excited but honestly I feel like I can't even think about it. In a way I am dreading it and I hate that I am feeling that way because it's my favorite but I am so scared that my Mom might not even make it or I know this will be the last Christmas with her there. It's hard to think like that but it's always there at the back of my mind.
Nikki