Hello Nikki99,
how is today going for you?
it was interesting to read the post from TracIe, and to know her experience with a close call could be helpful for you. I think it was also an important bit of info for me as well. I wonder how it will feel to have a close call, what it will feel like first hand. So thank you Tracie for sharing.
nikki I hear you about the cold weather. But when you are able to, in the spring, it might be really helpful to watch the renewal of the earth, the budding of trees, the flowers pushing through the soil, a reminder of the fact that we all live on in some small way, our spirit as well.
it might help to plant something in honour of your mom, or make a memory corner in your yard, or somewhere in your home even - so many cultures and religions have candies, photos, memorials - just a calm spot to think and remember.
sorry, I am going on, personally I have not done this for myself, but I am just trying to think of ways to help you cope:)
i also lost lost a brother at the young age of 39. It was many years ago, I was 41 - so over 24 years I guess. His death also shocked my whole family, in the same way the early, too soon loss of your mom Affected you. It stayed with me for a long time, although we had never been close as siblings, I wasn'tPrepared to lose someone so early. my brother left a wife and three very small children. I still watch those children, now adults with jobs relationships and lives, moving on, and I am grateful that I can see their progress.
In the same way, Nikki you are so young, dealing with your own young family, your son, your husband, and having lost your mom. I agree it's too soon. It's too hard, and your feelings and grief are overwhelming - but one thing about life is that we don't always get the choices we wish we could have. Life is hard, no way around that. Life can change in a moment for both good and bad reasons.
I guess I am trying to say we have to carry on, and i hope today has been a better day for you. I also am looking forward to you sharing some stories about your mom, the things you learned, the moments you remember. She is in your heart and always will be. Because of you, we as a group will learn about your mom, the person she was, the lessons she left for you.
my thoughts fly your way today,
write when you can.
NatR