Discussion Forums

Another Loss 
Started by highlanddancermom40
02 Jul 2014, 1:44 AM

Hello Everyone ;

It has been awhile since posting on this site, as work has been keeping me crazy busy as well as my decision to return to college to obtain my Palliative Care Certificate. I would like to mention that I have an average of 97% thus far and received a call from the college, commending me for this achievement. I lost my sister to cancer on April 2,2011 to cancer and she was my inspiration to take the course and it certainly has helped me in coping with not only her loss, but that of my Dad...he died exactly three years to the day of my sister on April 2,2014. He died from complications of pulmonary fibrosis. I had a sense that he would pass on the same day. I still have some up and down days, but coping.  
Report this post      
Reply by missie
02 Jul 2014, 2:25 AM

wow a palliative care cert, thats impressive. You will be very useful for sure.
I lost my bf to cancer week and 1/2 ago, and its tough alright.
It's almost like your dad went on that date on purpose, to be with your
sister, it's pretty weird isn't it. Maybe you can take comfort from that... 
Report this post      
Reply by moderator | modératrice
03 Jul 2014, 2:09 AM

Hi Highlanddancermom40,

I'm so sorry to hear about your Dad. Remarkable how he passed on the same day as your sister. Does this give you comfort in some way? 

Congratulations on excelling in your palliative care studies. Your sister truly is an inspiration. But grieving and helping others to prepare or cope with loss are not the same thing. It's important to take of you. We're honoured that you've reached out to the Virtual Hospice community for support. We'll gladly be your shoulder to lean on and ear to listen. 

Are you on summer break from your studies or do you keep studying through the summer?

Talk soon.
Report this post      
Reply by highlanddancermom40
03 Jul 2014, 3:18 AM

I still think about how strange it was that my Dad died on the same day as my sister, but I also had that sense that he would. My daughter and I flew to New Brunswick over the March Break to visit my parents. As we lived far, I wanted my daughter to have every opportunity she could to spend quality time with my Dad especially ( she was his favorite) and without regret. We weren't home a week and a bit, when I had to return. I have two other sister's and two brother's... None of us made it before he died ( all part of his plan). I am at peace with that though, as we were able to spend approx 7 hours at his bedside after he passed on...as my hisband , daughter and brother's were still traveling from Ontario and needed closure ( he donated his body to scientific research). They allowed us to stay with him until the rest of the family arrived. 
Report this post      
Reply by highlanddancermom40
03 Jul 2014, 3:25 AM

As for my schooling, I decided that I needed a rest until September, at which time I will take my last course and complete 60 hours of placement before receiving my certificate. I will then continue on to get my Thanatology Certificate and depending on hour energetic I feel, would also like to take my dementia studies further...all this on top of work lol.
Report this post      
Reply by eKIM
07 Jul 2014, 2:31 AM

Hi Highlanddancermom40,

You are certainly garnering a lot of admiration from people here at Virtual Hospice, including me.  I can imagine that everyone who knows and loves you must be so proud of you as well. 

When I read your story the following quote that I found lately came to mind.

“The wisest, most loving, and well rounded people you have ever met are likely those who have known misery, known defeat, known the heartbreak of losing something or someone they loved, and have found their way out of the depths of their own despair. These people have experienced many ups and downs, and have gained an appreciation, a sensitivity, and an understanding of life that fills them with compassion, understanding and a deep loving wisdom. People like this aren’t born; they develop slowly over the course of time.”  - Angel Chernoff

Do you find that keeping busy and moving forward with your life in such a positive way helps you during your grieving process?

Please continue to post here for support.  We will be here for you.  But just as importantly, please continue to post here as a wonderful example to others who perhaps are having difficulty building their new lives.

You have one more person who admires you. - eKim

Report this post