Hi all..I made it through Christmas and New Years. January 12th was his anniversay, he has been gone from me for a full year. I know that a year has passed, but it sure doesnt feel like it. Time for me moves in such an odx way now. I cant explain it. It like what i know and how i feel about a year are now different. I still/will always miss my hunny, what has occured is that i'm learning to live without him. The hurt ans loneliness are still there, but they have softened. I still cry, sometimes daily and sometimes not so much. Sometimes a song, plays and it makes me think of him, i cry and change the station or leave the room.
The lead up to christmas and new years eve, hard. So many tv shows and commerical with couples, those were hard to watch and then listening to coworkers and friends talking about how excited they were. I just wanted to run away and hide. I was sick with the flu over christmas, which was fine with me...i slept through it all, which was ok with me.
On his anniversary day, i took him a beautiful flower arrangement, and i just visited with him at his resting place. I wish he was closer, 3 hours is a long way in the winter.
It has been a struggle this past month, i feel like im pullong away.from.people. i dont have many friends and they dont come around. They never did. I have one cousin who is great, but she has young children and cant be there all the time.
I am tired of needing to ask for help.
Love to all,
Mbem