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Reply by baron1982

30 Aug 2016, 1:47 AM

Hello Stardust;
I have been following this forum since i lost my husband in March/15. He would've turn 64 turned weeks later.
I have had a long process (or it seems that way), I found that the best place for myself was the hospice. I had one-on-one plus I went through all of the group sessions.
Some days I'm so proud of myself because I've made it through a day without "day dreaming" about him. I'm always thinking of him, and I can still hear his voice in my head.
The thing that I still find the hardest, is when I hear or see something and I want to tell him what happened.
One of the comments up above mentioned about do your own grieving, and don't let anyone tell you how you are suppose to be doing or feeling.
They don't know how you feel, only you know how you feel and you will know what is right for you.
Hugs

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Reply by Stardust

31 Aug 2016, 1:59 AM

i appreciate all the kind words of support and encouragement. I know I am not the only person who has gone through this and a lot worse. But like my daughter said after he died, now that sick Dad is gone when is well Dad coming back? It doesn't feel like any of this is real and any day I will wake up to my old life. But it is real as I had my first birthday since his death this past weekend. His birthday in the winter is going to be the tough one though. Friends and family already expect me to have moved on. This is why support from this message board is helpful and I will continue to seek out other forms of help too.

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Reply by KathCull_admin

31 Aug 2016, 8:34 PM

Welcome baron1982. I so understand you wanting to tell your husband something. For me it is often those trivial things that I would tell Henry - not earthshattering but those little things that I know he would be interested in. For example I heard Joe Cocker singing a Beatles song, "With a little help from my friends" - first thing I thought about was telling Henry!

A quote from Mitch Albom,"Sharing tales of those we lost, is how we keep from really losing them."

To all on this thread, I hope you have people with whom you can share the stories.

Katherine

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Reply by JennJilks

31 Aug 2016, 8:43 PM

I have some wonderful Facebook friends, who

with me!

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Reply by baron1982

31 Aug 2016, 10:38 PM

Hi; After I lost my Brian, his birthday came almost 2 weeks later. On that day myself and my best friend went out had a nice dinner and went to a funny movie, I didn't feel like being company, but I also knew that being at the apartment would be the worse place for me. My friend held me, listen to me, and nodded in all the right places. I have asked her what I said etc because to be honest I don't remember. She just smiles, pattes my hand and says "You needed me" and she leaves it like that.
That was the first one, this past one I did something that I had been wanting to do, I spent a weekend (4 days) at a spa. I came back feeling like I could take on the world, and I started something while I was there, I bought a journal and everytime I want to tell Brian something or I just want to put my feelings and thoughts on paper that is where they go. I call it "My Life Without Brian".
I still have people who figure that I should be moved on by now and they have even mentioned dating and remarrying. My answer to that has been "once you've had the best, you don't want the rest".

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Reply by KathCull_admin

29 Jan 2017, 4:53 PM

How is your journaling coming along baron1982?
Katherine

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Reply by baron1982

30 Jan 2017, 11:51 PM

Hello: I have started my second journal. I am feeling less isolated then I did. Thank you so much for asking.

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Reply by KathCull_admin

08 Feb 2017, 11:41 PM

Hello everyone,

A new member LostNakedAndAfraid started the post Am I Going Crazy? – and I wonder if those of you who are able would consider responding to her post?

As always by invitation not expectation.

Warm thoughts on a very cold Manitoba evening.
Katherine

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