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His Birthday is Today 
Started by wildose
17 Dec 2016, 11:58 PM

My entire day is consumed with sadness, and I am crying more today than when my love died.  The path goes forward a tiny step, but back by leaps and bounds.  I ask myself if there is any hope for me.  I knew when he was dying that I would miss him, but I didn't come even close on the horribleness of that sadness.  
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Reply by KathCull_admin
18 Dec 2016, 4:38 AM

Dear Wild Rose 
That sadness and grief can be so unexpected - and can hit so hard.  Especially on birthdays and anniversaries - days when you are particularly reminded of your loss. And as you say no matter how much you prepare, nothing can prepare for reality. 

How long has it been since your 'love died'? Beautiful phrase. 

what helps you get through the day (and night)?

Glad you posted.

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Reply by wildose
19 Dec 2016, 2:47 AM

It's been 2 months.  What helps me get through the day are distractions such as the computer.  I had never wanted to learn how to use the computer, but Gar started me of with just silly games so that I learned how to use the mouse, and it just grew from there.  Now I am so grateful that he was so forward thinking.  The nights?  Mostly prayer. It is worse that this is all happening during the cold of winter, and choices of activities are limited.  Someone told me:  Grief is just love with no place to go!  
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Reply by Wingman
19 Dec 2016, 4:18 AM

Hi Wildose.
My best friend died 4 months ago. I wish I could say it gets easier, but sometimes it gets harder. It's like the intensity of the change settles....and the days are just simply quieter and emptier. My friends birthday was two days after her funeral.
These days are tough for sure....I do hope you can find some comfort in the support here. I have found that learning of others feeling the same way that I find a degree of safety. The hurt is the same but the weight of it feels a little lighter.
I am sorry for your loss, and the holidays coming don't make it easier. The computer is a great resource for sure...and while the temperature drops, a full sun on a still wintery day can still hold a degree of peacefulness. I hope you can find a minute of that in each day.
Yes, the new normal takes adjusting to for sure. Give yourself time for that, and for a minute of peace as well.
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