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Started by Wingman
13 Jan 2017, 3:51 AM


Time heals. In TIME, things will be better. I balance my time with what I need and what I want.

"Death changes everything, time changes nothing".

I read this quote recently and cannot stop thinking about it.
Yes, death has changed everything but time has permitted evolvement.
It has been almost 5 months since I last watched the haggard breathing of my friend who was dying.
It has been  over 6 since I watched her day to day struggle compound with the latest and tragic diagnosis.
It is only now though....that I *see her on the street*.
It is only now that my world is inexplaiably quiet.
It is only now that I wonder if she's coming back or not.
Time is funny. It messes with you a bit.
I should *NEED to be * here *, in time for the appointment today.
I should *Need* to be at the farm to help you with your chores today.
I should *NEED* to be at your place tonight to manage your household chores and be sure you are warm and fed.
I am waiting for your text.....I am waiting to see where I need to be tomorrow.

And yet......My world remains quiet.
No one is needing me to be there.
My day is my own. 
And this, my friend is what is most unsettling .

Time is not my friend today.
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Reply by mgb
03 Feb 2017, 6:35 PM

Hi Wingman

Just became a member as a friend is dealing with a sick parent.
Anyways, just a quick note.
The program at the Bob Glasgow Grief Centre was invaluable to me wife and I, check it out, give them a call etc.  Could be the support you are looking for.
TIME - does not heal, it will put a scab over a loss wound (which will come off someday possibly with nasty reprecussions) but only active grieving and mourning will get you to the other side to be able to sing and dance again.  Good luck in your journey. 
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Reply by KathCull_admin
06 Feb 2017, 3:00 AM

Welcome mgb. Your friend is fortunate to have you 'in their corner' - finding ways to support them.


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Reply by Wingman
08 Feb 2017, 3:32 AM


The world is still.
Things are quiet,  nothing moves, little changes.

How did this happen?

My mind is not reeling, but it is spinning. There is a difference.
I am selfish for missing the intense days where your world consumed my world...What's happening, what's next, how will we manage this.
This quetness unnerves me.
Sometimes the Silence is screaming.

I think what rattles me most is not knowing who I am right now.
I don't recognize this silence....I am strong and courageous.
I am a pillar for all you need me to be. I am the tallest tower I know.

So now, this quiet self is a challenge. 

How can I be excited when you are not excited?
How can I adventure when you aren't cheering me on?
How can I put a voice in these days....When yours no longer speaks.

......How can I be at peace, when I didn't see you at peace....
         .............How can I move on when I cannot let go.....
              .......And how can I let go of what I hadn't known I needed.

Rest well friend.

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Reply by Wingman
12 Feb 2017, 4:07 AM

Where are you?
Why haven't you checked in?
I have something to tell you.

That's ok.
If I don't hear from you by Wednesday, I will bring some color to where you are.
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Reply by mgb
17 Feb 2018, 7:22 PM

Hi Wingman
Wow a whole year has flown by.
Sorry don't follow this site that often. 
I hope that my first note above was of some help.
What are your reflections on time and grieving after this past year. 
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Reply by Wingman
04 Mar 2018, 3:33 AM

Tick Tock,
See the clock
What we get
Is what we've got.

Minute, hour
Month, year,
End of time
We should not fear.

Wait!  Stop!
Hold the phone
Why am I now
All alone?

Time you're here
Time you're gone
How can time
Go on so long?

Think back,
Remember when,
Was you that was
My favourite friend.

Stronger, wiser,
Yes- ok,
Seems so long
You've been away.

All or none,
Can this be that?
Where we were
Now, where I'm at.

Rest well friend,
A day not yet, goes by.
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Reply by mgb
06 Mar 2018, 5:09 PM

I was never much a reader in my grief journey.  Poems can be interesting and cause reflection etc however don't see much value.  Discussions, sharing, doing the hard work of mourning seems to have the larger payoff.
Good Luck in your journey and how you travel it. 
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