Thank you all for your kind thoughts, it is very inspiring to hear so much support so rapidly! I would love to be able to hug you to show you my gratitude, because I found so much relief in each one of your answer.
Cath1, you point out on something important, about talking to my oncologist about this, I did already talk about the mood hard to come back after the chemo probably due to the cortisone in the Decadron, we were suppose to see if it would be a good idea to lower the dose, to prevent this. We both didn’t come back on this, it might be a good idea to bring back the subject.
I am not alone, it’s been 25 years this year I am with my hubby, we have a 15yrs old daughter. I also have a couple of “new” friends since my diagnosis in 2009, I thought they were “bus travelling to work friends”, but when they heard of the treatment starting, they offer me to continue to see each other by taking a walk or a coffee. We did so, and since then we are true frieds. I can share with them about any subject regarding my disease, they do understand better than my family. I was with one of them yesterday after she called me for news. We talked almost 3 hours (and not only about me) J.
AnneMarie, yes indeed I know Jenny, I found out in 2009 how much reading and writing can do good, so I started blogging an became member of some support groups, and it does help a lot, I did made also new virtual new friends that way also (note that my blogs are not popular like yours J). Please say hello to Renn, Christine and Kisten - I hope her treatment will keep the cancer at bay for a long time! Yes, I will send you an e-mail.
Idelle, you made me learn a new word “solace” thank you for your kind words!
CarolynMarie, Passirose means Notsopink, but you write it Passionrose meaning Pinkpassion, makes me smile, thank you! By the way I just turn 53 in May. You are right our path are similar and there is a lot of TNBC in IBCers, I am ER-PR-Her+, and yes the fact my lung gave me hard time breathing for a while was pretty scary. Each time I am due for Herceptin (every 3 weeks), I feel a couple of day ahead the shortness of breath, even if in May the scan showed no more the mass.
Oncologists and there is a few (6) of them (had 2 opinion in different center) they all agree that I have something like 2 years, and I know it can be a little more or a little less depending of how goes treatments.
What is driving me nuts is that I am in the hard process to BE SURE I still want to be treated. When this chemo will stop working, I am not sure I will be strong enough physically and emotionally to continue the battle and continue with more chemo. Right now I am not ready to let go, but the time will come that it wont be effective anymore, so when switching of chemo, if I am offer more time to live, and know that time will be crappy and miserable, not sure I wanto go there. Then i would have to face death more rapidly. Maybe I’m already trying to prepare myself to that.
I think I always had a good attitude, and people did told me a lot how much they loved talking, that they learned so much to my contact and feel comfortable talking about things they didn’t even never wanted to think about before. I would like to go back to this attitude, cause as you said Carolyn, it does come back. But lately, I have to find my new self and be comfortable with it before being able to show an attitude that won’t scare people. J
Dear Jim, I love reading, writing, but the silence is also gold to my ears. I always said that the best friends are able to be silent without being uncomfortable with each other. You have a special way to approach and it is very effective. I think you “feel” what people are. Thank you for your word and being there.
Please know that I’m feeling really better lately, and yes you surely are like a good medicine to me! I am speechless how to tell you merci, merci, merci. I will continue to think about all what said.
Hugs to you all, xoxo
Suzanne
Slemay2 [at] videotron [dot] ca