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Reply by NatR
19 Jun 2016, 3:01 AM

Hello Linda,

just stopping by to say hello and hope today was a peaceful day for you.

it is good to read the interesting tidbits from Katherine, notes from Carlyn, and others...good to know there are caring people reading the notes from you.

i wish you a good night, and want you to know you are supported.
not sure what area you are in, but in northern Ontario (and also a large part of the province ) we're enjoying a heat wave - and it's better than 50 below zero....but I am relieved that nightfall gives us a bit of relief....

there seems to be a scourge of tent caterpillars in our area this year....tried to sit under a tree today but the darn critters were falling on me....so I soon moved away....

sending you thoughts.... 
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Reply by linda*
19 Jun 2016, 8:24 PM

hi again.  and thanks.  this is a very private place for me. 

I'm in south-western manitoba.  the tent caterpillars infestations are sporadic here.  some places are totally de-leafed (?) and places like my yard just have occasional scouts checking the lay of the land.  they haven't been bad enough to keep me off my hammock. 

I do have a bird friendly yard . . .

today's been a nice blend of rainy stormy/bright & sunny.


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Reply by linda*
30 Jun 2016, 8:02 PM

June 30th. 

another month gone by.


living with serious illness, I find I spend a lot of time thinking about dying.

interesting enough,   I've pretty much always thought about death & dying but maybe not quite so much as now. 

I've cleared that fourth veil.

next week I'm getting my house set up for oxygen.  I don't think I will regard it as another veil but we'll see.  four out of seven . . .


since my brief stay in the hospital, I have been recipient of acts of kindness.

little things.  last night a friend dropped off a bowl of fresh sweet strawberries.

a bouquet of garden flowers,  invite out, my good neighbours mowed my lawn again. 

a friend's husband came and moved & set up a hospital bed for me (those weren't little things. they were a BIG help). act of kindness.


I'm interested in how people are managing.
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Reply by Carlyn
30 Jun 2016, 8:35 PM

Hi Linda,

June 30th indeed. I was wondering about help with things like a hospital bed. You have wonderful friends and neighbours :-) Strawberries and flowers in summertime are wonderful treat too. I'm so glad your days are going well, all things considered.

At the park for a bit today and saw a tent caterpillar. First one in years i've seen and it made me think of you and Natrice.

I was at the doctor yesterday. We talked about dying and how to prepare and other things related to it. It's a complicated process, or system I should say, with all the agencies to coordinate etc.

Linda, i'm a curious person and have also thought about dying always. Do you feel like sharing what your thoughts are saying about dying?

At the end of her life, I remember my Mom talking about it but the focus on death never lasted long as she kept getting off track into happy memories of earlier times in her life. That was a great blessing actually, to hear stories of times and things she loved, kindnesses she experienced which stayed with her. Anyway, I just wanted to ask in case you felt like talking about it a bit. 

Thinking of everyone here. Summer is a busy time and not everyone wants to check in, or needs to I guess, but I think of you regardless. Canada Day is tomorrow. Can hardly believe it's already July.  Linda, I'm kind of hoping one of your wonderful friends arrives with sparklers for a bit on July 1st :-) If not, I hope you spend the day your way. :-) Keeping good thoughts for you.

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Reply by NatR
30 Jun 2016, 10:54 PM

Hello Linda and Carlyn

forgive my tardy reply - the past couple of weeks seem to have way too much going on...
glad Libad to hear you are receiving kindness, strawberries and support from those close to you 
i know how much it means to have those things given freely.

you mentioned getting oxygen - its good to have all your basic needs met.
i hope you will have a good weekend
it's very warm but we are getting heavy rains tonight and tomorrow - not what you want on the holiday but it is what it is
as long as I can view a few fireworks I will feel I had enough!

sonetimes I forget that for many years I lived in isolation in a very small community at the end of the rail - and there were no fireworks or big holiday plans - everyone carried on as usual I guess
I do remember New Years Eve's though
neighbours would shoot off their guns at midnight into the skies and I nervously peered out the window on my knees with only my eyes showing lol
you never know  :)
figured it was best to be a low target just in case

hope you Carlyn and all members have a good weekend, and that each day brings you a small gift of sunshine, friends and comfort
sending hugs to all
best wishes  
oh, we have bears drifting around the edge of our town - I don't think they are finding enough to eat this year with the dryness and weird weather
NatR  🌹😊🇨🇦
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Reply by linda*
08 Jul 2016, 12:16 AM


here it July  already.


I've had oxygen in my home for a few days now and I find it helps.

the thing is, the oxygen-making machine has this hose.  50 feet or so.

and when I walk about, my young cat, Louis thinks it's something 

hunt-worthy and Buddy, my old retriever follows Louis and myself and then  flops himself down on top of.  or he  will simply stand on it.  his big hairy feet are like hose magnets.

 I had the opportunity to make some music today. a friend is a bassoonist and she's adjusting to a new instrument.  it was really nice.  I've sort of let music slide a bit and she helped me get back on track.  we've a date set for our next session.  something to look forward to.

bears - there was a sign in the post office here warning of a mother bear & two cubs.  poor things are loosing their habitat at a serious rate plus the are these tempting gardens!      

               Linda, i'm a curious person and have also thought about dying always. Do you feel like sharing what your thoughts are saying about dying? 

for starters, I figure EVERYTHING CHANGES.  
did I mention anywhere my little fun with the term TERMINAL?   bus terminal, plane terminal, train terminal - all points of transition. terminal disease, another transition.

I'm just now starting to face the reality of the process
how about you? 
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Reply by KathCull_admin
08 Jul 2016, 9:38 PM

Yes it's July and I think I have inherited my mother's inclination to think ahead to fall and winter coming and shorter days after the longest day in June! 

We are dog sitting a friend's Shiba Inu  It's interesting to see dogs interacting. We have a little Yorkie (not sure if I mentioned Lola Mai before) and over the last few days you can really see who the Alpha dog is - not Lola! We were walking in a park near the river this week and I am pretty sure what I thought was a cat was a little fox. I am always amazed when I see wildlife in the city - but it only makes sense.

Does your cat play with the oxygen tubing Linda? I am glad it is helping. I know it was a veil but perhaps a more guazy then black one?  

I was talking with someone the other day and they said that 'music is my soul' - sounds like that might resonate with you a bit. Also had dinner with friends at a restaurant not too far away and was happy to find that two local musicians play there over the dinner hour.

It's warm today - but also a light breeze.

How are you facing that reality Linda - are you doing things differently or thinking differently?

What music are you and your friend playing?

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Reply by linda*
08 Jul 2016, 11:03 PM

believe the oxygen makes a difference. and yes, the cat plays with the tubing. fortunately it's not much of a problem.  just a nuisance.  that tubing is STRONG.

I've had more energy these last few days.

my thinking hasn't changed.  I believe in the right to die.  now I'm facing the reality that my body is deteriorating, facing the reality of occasional scary symptoms maybe being on the increase . . .

bassoon - we're working our way thru 2 volumes of sonatas (three sonatas per) by a (bassoon) composer, galliard.   and then some vivaldi. 

I do like to make music.

I was hospitalized at the same time as a hutterite lady who was not expected to live long. one evening a choir came and sang for her.  for us all.  it was powerful.  the halls were filled with the sound of their voices, sometimes a voice or two, sometimes full chorus. sometimes in perfect unison, sometimes in tuneful harmony.   it was so soothing. they sang for more than half an hour. it brought on a good cry.  

apparently it's something the hutterites do from time to time.

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Reply by Carlyn
08 Jul 2016, 11:46 PM

Hi Natrice, Katherine and Linda, i'm late, I was here last night. I did write a reply but then internet cut out and it disappeared. It seemed meant to be so planned to retry today.

Natrice, I didn't do any celebrating but wanted to wish you happy holiday. I will catch up soon.

Katherine and Linda you both have exchanges that flow so easily and I don't want to interrupt that. I just wanted to say hello to all of you and that i'm thinking of you all. Your music experiences and how prevalent it is around this time feels spiritual somehow. 


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Reply by MelissaAnn
09 Jul 2016, 4:51 AM

Thank all of you for the support I only reply very few times but hearing the support you offer keeps me going thank you 
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