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Reply by linda*
07 Jan 2016, 4:43 PM

hi carlyn.  you are so thoughtful!

I live in a small town, pop.800.
I still have access to my piano - it's in a church -  it's just not quite the same as being able to sit down and play something thru while you wait for the kettle to boil, and it takes a serious effort to enjoy a midnight practise session.

the accordion is somethng else again.  it was a gift.   it's heavy and mastering the bellows is my challenge.  plus I have a tumor on my breast . . .
years ago, like decades, there were reed organs - pump organs - in little country churches.
I used to love exploring, finding the churches and making the music.  foot belllows are easier than arm bellows.
I digress.
I feel more positive.
thanks again
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Reply by linda*
09 Jan 2016, 7:02 PM

katherine -
you mentioned setting aside a designated time of misery.  I think that's a god idea.   wallow, then take a break.

so now what I've started  is worry cards.
there's a table beside my recliner and on that table there's a recipe box and in that box there are alphabet-ized recipe cards.  some are for phone numbers & addresses etc  and the new ones are for worries.

under F there's a card for fear and on the card there's the reminder to keep still, to flow with events and allow time to work its magic.  everything changes.   so I don't need to worry about that. 
I've made cards for a couple of outstanding issues in my life and I don't bother worrying about those issues unless I'm looking at the card. 

I'm finding it frees up the mind for better stuff.

sigh . . .
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Reply by KathCull_admin
10 Jan 2016, 4:02 AM

Hello everyone,
linda* 'my recliner' reminded me of 'my spot' on the couch - with laptop, mouse, pen, coffee coaster , book, glasses and remote within easy reach. Plus Lola Mai (the Yorkie) likes to sit just beside me on an afghan she pulls down:) My spot makes me feel safe and comfortable - must be my age as it doesn't take much to make me happy! 

What a great idea about the cards.  I am interested in what 'better stuff' your mind has more time for..... Do you enjoy radio? Over the past few years I have become a fan of CBC - especially Radio 2. I like the variety of music throughout the day. Music soothes my soul. 

Sleep well.
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Reply by linda*
16 Jan 2016, 7:40 PM

left over from another life: Buddy the (elderly) golden retriever,  Emily Elizabeth & Moses (elderly) cats.   

I have a card under D for DISEASE.  I've pulled it out a few times now.  I haven't actually got anything written on it.  so far I've found just getting the card out is enough.

better stuff than worrying:  
I do listen to the radio.  I've been a radio2 fan from back when it was classical music all day long.  I still listen for a few hours mid-day.
and I still spend a lot of time making my own music.
however, lately I've been learning to appreciatiing quiet.  getting ready for the Big Quiet.  (I just made that up).  when it's quiet I am apt to read.  back a few decades, before children etc, I accumulated a lot of books but didn't do much reading other than some books related to a spiritual path.  lately I've been reading some old fantasy paperbacks; I just finished the earthsea trilogy.  lots of magic.   I like that. 
and I like to knit.  I like the way stitches connect and appear.   I have my knitting in a basket beside the recliner. Emily Elizabeth recently chewed thru the yarn.  sigh . . .  I'm not even knitting anything other than a block of light green seed stitch. 
one winter, when my son was two, I knit him a sock . . .
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Reply by Carlyn
16 Jan 2016, 8:14 PM

Hi Linda*,

Your cards idea sounds really helpful. That seems like a good tip to remember for others. Wish we'd thought of it during my loved ones time. Really unique and valuable idea.

I have zip to contribute on Radio2 but glad you and Katherine share that.  I knit as well and really enjoy it. It's very therapeutic. No matter what you knit, just knitting on it's own can be calm and soothing.  

Did you knit your son just the one sock? :-) 

If it's of interest (no pressure) you may know of this already but in case not, Ravelry website is fun resource for knitting and crochet. It has lots of free downloadable patterns available or just ideas for knitters and crocheters. You can even save your favourite patterns and build your own library within the site. Fun and helps to keep mind occupied.

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Reply by NatR
16 Jan 2016, 8:31 PM

Hi Lynda - and carlyn 

interesting ideas floating about - I can agree on the radio, reading and crafts

carlyn you are right about Ravelry, for ideas and patterns
i also like Pinterest - where you can browse through so many neat things from design to crafts and anything you want to know.

i have been listening to cbc radio most of the day - in between a dash to the store for more wool - it's my safe place, my relaxing place
on the radio they were discussing how valuable it can be to start up conversations with total strangers, on a bus, in a store, or on a plane - and how those interactions promote good feelings and raise spirits! Who knew? 👍😃⛄️

I think  this forum  is sort of like that - we are strangers who reach out and start a conversation and through the process we do form friendships and connection - which prompted feelings of self worth - and a better frame of mind... What do you all think??
i had never really thought about it much before.

hoping everyone is warm and sipping a hot drink oR snuggled in a comfy couch or chair - spending a good afternoon.
sending out warm fuzzy hugs to anyone who wants one😃 

we wI'll need those hugs tonight as it is going to be -27 without the windchill⛄️⛄️⛄️❄️❄️❄️
Best wishes
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Reply by linda*
17 Jan 2016, 9:08 PM

CBC radio1 has some pretty decent Thinking Programs, TAPESTRY and IDEAS for two.

this afternoon there was discussion of the dark, or lack of it since the invention of artificial light, and how that has affected our link to our subconscious.
I found it interesting because I'm finding as my body slows down, my sleep patterns have changed and I've been resisting the change.  I've been clinging to the eight hour continous sleep model that this society presents as ideal and feeling like there's a problem because I keep waking up at 2:00am.  I'm going to change my attitude.   

I've noticed how bright the stars are in the night sky when it's -30 
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Reply by Carlyn
17 Jan 2016, 11:34 PM

Natrice it's good to see you. I like how you described this forum and agree. I'm enjoying the conversation you're all having about radio, comfort spots and pets. Katherine, your comforting spot resonates. 

It feels like a betrayal of our nation but I prefer BBC radio (4 I think it is), only because when I was first sick, their website had more fictional play programs than I could find on CBC at the time (15 years ago). I will try those programs.

Linda*, I live the same way. Sticking to schedules of sleep as healthy people do has not been easy with my illness so I gave in, as you have. It feels ok. My body wants it this way. Going with the flow has made it all easier. 

When you mentioned the size of your town and that your piano is at the town church, I thought, what a beautiful place it sounds like, to live and take each day one at a time.

For a long time I've been interested in the shared interests of people who work with maths and those who work with music.  Linda* the things you are finding stimulating and enriching speaks to that. It's a wondrous path you're on, recalling from memory witnessing my family members doing similar. It seems surreal to hear the radio programs were discussing light and dark at this moment in your life. It reads as comforting to you. I hope so. Beautiful the way you described their discussion.

It reminded me of the early years of my illness, as I was reflecting on it and what it meant etc. During one family Christmas gathering, I went outside to catch snowflakes on my mittens. My sister asked what drugs I was on and if she could have some. :-) I said "no drugs, just I forgot how much fun this was... and calm"

Before I got sick, it was leather gloves. After illness struck, I switched to soft, comfortable things out of need to feel comforted I think. 

Anyway, stars in the night sky, taking time to notice them, sounds beautiful. Thanks for the reminder. I don't do that nearly enough. 
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Reply by linda*
18 Jan 2016, 7:09 PM

I've glanced down a couple of pathways in this labyrinth of discussions.

so much hurting, so much kindness.

the labyrinth - yes.
somewhere I read that someone (don't know who) who's name I recognized from above was selling their home (don't know where).
anyway, I'm thinking that's got to be hard.

I'm saving my memory cells for other stuff.
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Reply by linda*
05 Feb 2016, 12:14 AM

this print is so small and I can't see where to enlarge it . . .
perhaps someone can help me with that.

I'm still out here,   still knitting; I'm calling them afghan squares.  still reading but I've gone back to re-reading my old stand-by's,  still listening to the radio but turning it off when I realize I'm listening to something annoying.  who needs that?  still sorting stuff.  I'm still out here, taking my pills and  feeling fine.
I mentioned I'm a musician.  I've played for a couple of big funerals recently; old-timers.
I expect my service will be small.  I've asked a friend to manage that stuff for me when the time comes.  I've started a real folder for her, not to be confused with my recipe box of worry cards but sort of along the same line. 
she has offered to come and stay with me when I get sick.  she says doing that sort of thing gives her life meaning.

I wasn't thinking that life had to have meaning . . .
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