Thank you for your condolences and thank you for your support on this incredibly difficult journey. I have learned a lot about myself and am fortunate I had the strength to be a health care advocate for my husband. That fortitude will help to carry me through the next weeks and months dealing with my grief and all the legal and financial repercussions associated with his passing.

Each person that shared something of their lives with me showed me I wasn’t alone in this fight for life and for that I will always be grateful.

Thank you, Cherel

Hi Marymary,

Thank you for thinking of me. How are you? I often wonder how others who have touched my life are doing.

I encountered an acquaintance the other day while I was out buying coffee from a specialty store she owns. Her husband has been battling cancer for eight long years and is facing brain surgery in a couple of weeks. She asked how I was and wasn’t I lonely and afraid to live in the house by myself with the children moved out years ago, and now my husband gone. I was caught off guard, surprised by her question. I quickly answered in the negative and alluded to the comfort of having a dog.

Reflecting on her question later, I thought here’s someone who will have a very difficult time when her husband passes. Am I in the same position? No, I am not. Dave in retrospect left me a long time ago and for that I grieve. I have been grieving for the loss of someone who was once a friend. With denial and no discussion, I grieve for the lack of closure he was unable to give me. I’m not lonely, I’ve been alone for a long time. He has physically been gone six weeks now and every day I think of him. I think of all the time I sat at his bedside, hoping and praying we could “talk”. I think of everything I did to make him comfortable and everything I did to ease his passing for both him and I.

I’m not lonely, I’m alone and I’m ok with that.

Cherel

Thank you, CHerel,

You are offering a way of seeing that is helpful to me.

Nouce