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stage iv breast cancer 
Started by jessicasarah
22 Jul 2016, 4:15 AM
Hi everyone, I just joined the community. I am 31 years old with stage iv breast cancer, mets to liver and bones. My mets was diagnosed June 2015. I've been on a consistent chemo regime for a little over a year now. I recently lost a friend to stage iv breast cancer and now it has stirred a lot of thinking. I am looking for some information on end of life planning how-to's. Are there some online resources on how to plan and what the various options are for funerals/celebrations of life? Thanks.
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Reply by KathCull_admin
22 Jul 2016, 2:35 PM

Hi Jessicasarah
Welcome to our community. The group of people living with serious illness and sharing on our forums is small, but like the other members they understand and care.  It's a good place to speak frankly about fears, hopes and practical matters.


My sympathy to you in the loss of your friend.  A very good friend of mine died 5 years ago of metastatic breast cancer and I miss her. She was able to see the fun in life, but knew the sadness of it as well. A wise woman.


I am looking for some resources for you and will get back to you later today but wanted to check in and know you are welcome.


Do you have family who are able to support you and help with some thinking and planning you are doing?


Katherine 

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Reply by jessicasarah
22 Jul 2016, 3:59 PM
Hi Kathy, thanks for your reply. I don't feel comfortable talking to my family about this. I feel like it will only upset my mom, and she is usually the person I share things with. she is my main support person and is great but actually talking about my death is difficult for her. 
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Reply by Carlyn
24 Jul 2016, 8:39 PM
Dear Jessicasarah,

I'm glad you found us. My eldest sister died 16 years ago and like you, she didn't want to talk with our parents about these matters. I was her 'person' and would like to add my support to you along with Katherine and others here.  

My condolences to you on the loss of your friend.

I thought of these two links as a start:- 

http://www.advancecareplanning.ca/

http://cindea.ca/advance-planning.html

And if you'd like to talk, i'm here reading... lot of others too I know will join in to support you. I'm keeping you in my thoughts.

Carlyn 
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Reply by jessicasarah
24 Jul 2016, 8:44 PM
Thank you Carlyn. I will look at those resources. was your friends pre planning helpful to others? 
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Reply by Lulu975
24 Jul 2016, 9:55 PM
Hi jessicasarah, I too am dealing with metastatic breast cancer and was diagnosed again in April 2015. I have mets to the ovary and bones and spine.  I have been doing chemo for the past 15  months and have been stable disease so far.  Doing anti-estrogens now, (just starting) and also dealing with moving and starting again in a new city.  If you want to chat just let me know.
 
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Reply by Carlyn
24 Jul 2016, 10:04 PM
Jessicasarah, pre planning was helpful to others but it's a lot to do on your own. You don't have to do it your own. We're here if you want to talk about things.

Glad to see you Lulu975. I am behind here so will look for more of your posts but I hope your move is going okay. 
 
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Reply by jessicasarah
24 Jul 2016, 10:10 PM
Yes it does feel like a lot on my own. Once I start getting my heels wet with the planning, I will post a thread specific to pre planning maybe? That might be a helpful way to receive feedback and support. That said, I also know that pre planning is a heavy and often scary topic for people to engage with, so I don't want to burden others with my messages if they are not comfortable or are not at a place where they are ready for those plans.
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Reply by jessicasarah
24 Jul 2016, 10:12 PM
Hi LuLu, we are pretty much on the same time line. My mets dx was June 2015, and I have been on chemo since that time. 19 chemos under my belt thus far! I'm triple neg so I don't have any hormone therapies. Moving is big life stressor, I hope it goes smoothly for you!
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Reply by Lulu975
24 Jul 2016, 10:48 PM
Still dealing with the unpacking and lack of energy and motivation.  My mom who I was caring for had to go into a long term home in April so I am getting used to being alone again and without the caregiving part.  Just having trouble finding out who I am after all those years of looking after someone elses needs
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