Dear Carriek:
You are such a remarkable woman and you continue to remind me of this fact with every heartfelt message you write! You are at the end of what I can only imagine is a very long day amidst a horrendously long and sorrowful journey and yet you still make the time to update us all about how your husband and you are doing - thank you!
Your words made me cry this evening, for your husband and for you and your kids and the heartache that binds you and breaks you and makes each of you braver than you can possibly realize! I wish everyone in the world could be so blessed by love as is your husband and your family!
Carrie, I hope you know I feel you are my real friend - virtually in every respect and it is a special honour to share a small part of your private sorrow with you!
I want to clarify for you that I didn't suggest that you "should be" with your husband when he is dying in my previous message, because when it come to dying there are absolutely no shoulds or musts in my opinon as every person's death is the most personal experience as is the experience of the loved ones with them in spirit or in person.
I said "should you be with your husband..." meaning that if his final moment happens when you are with him, you need not feel afraid. I know that you want more than anything to be right there beside him when your soulmate takes his final breath and I hope with all my heart that your wish will come true! That's precisely how I felt about it when my Mom was dying. You are right I believe, that the dying person chooses when the right moment is for them to leave, but whatever happens remember you have no control about the timing so no matter what, please don't burden your dear heart with any regrets whatsoever!
I am praying that your husband's and your suffering will know a peaceful ending so that you both can rest and begin again. My Mom would tell you if she were here that your husband's suffering is not in vain and that when he passes to the heavens he will suffer no more. He will be given rest. I believe your husband is already an angel as are you and this angelic spiritual state will remain your immortal bond.
If you could see yourself as I see you, how far you've come, how much stronger and more resilient and accepting and courageous you are today than a couple of months ago, you would know just how awesome you are, Carrie! Life has unfairly placed upon your husband and you and the children a severe and merciless trial, but you have demonstrated your unbelievable faith, your extraordinary spirit and your loyal and loving character through it all and in the end nothing can or will ever take that away from you!
Be Not Afraid was among the hymns sung at my Mom's funeral as she and I both love the lyrics. I am sharing a couple of verses for you and your husband tonight and hope when you meditate on the meaning of these words, you will find comfort.
You shall cross the barren desert,
but you shall not die of thirst.
You shall wander far in safety,
though you do not know the way.
You shall speak your words in foreign lands,
and all will understand,
You shall see the face of God and live.
Be not afraid,
I go before you always,
Come follow Me,
and I shall give you rest.
Be not afraid, Carrie - we are all here with you and for you - you are not alone - ever!
With affection -hugs- xo
Cath1