Hi winter,
I have been reading all that you have written and having gone through similar circumstances dealing with palliative care, I thought I would add my voice to those who have answered you. My husband spent weeks in palliative care last year then we brought him home to spend his final weeks. He was treated so kindly in there and it was like a home away from home. He loved that he could just go get a popsicle whenever he wanted. The day after he passed, my mom ended up in the hospital with many health issues. Her final weeks were spent in a regular room but in what they called 'comfort care'. Like with your mom there was no room in palliative care for her. In comfort care they still brought in food for her but mostly pureed and juice. As time went on she took in less and less, as her body was gradually shutting down, and was kept comfortable with medication during this time. Although a room in palliative would have been ideal, the care she was given was still incredibly kind and gentle.
I hope that you can balance taking care of yourself while trying to spend time with your mom. You owe that to your husband and son and most importantly yourself.
Know that we are here for you.
Hugs,
Tracie