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Scared to say goodbye 
Started by Angie91
28 Sep 2012, 1:52 AM
My mom is only 51, she has been ill most of her life and has spent the last 5 months in hospital.it has been a downhill battle and since her birthday last week we have been struggling with how long to let her fight. On Monday the doctors told her and our family that there was only one more thing left to try, TPN, and interveinous nourishment system. Tuesday my
Mom was perky and content, then Wednesday evening she started to struggle with breathing. Today my family and I talked with the doctors and have decided to just make her comfortable.they took her off fluids and now she is just on oxygen, it's terrifying to know that in a few days, maybe only a few hours I will have to say goodbye to the person I love the most. I'm only 21, I have so many milestones that my mom won't be able to be a part of, and I'm scared to take on this world alone. My mom is the strongest person I know and I know I will be able to carry on being strong with out her, but where an I supposed to go when I need a big from my mommy? I know no one wants to, but I am scared to say goodbye. I can't picture life with out this wonderful presence I wish this didn't have to be the end
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Reply by moderator | modératrice
28 Sep 2012, 2:23 AM
Dear Angie,

I can hear the little girl in your writing and a strong, caring person too. Can your mother hear you? Have you been able to tell her how much you love her and that you know you will be able  carry on being strong without her?

We're here and listening. You are not alone. 
Colleen
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Reply by GirlWithTheBlackBeret
29 Sep 2012, 7:09 PM

Hi Angie, I’m sorry to hear about your Mom. You both are so young.

I was 30 when my Mom died.  She had advanced breast cancer, when they told us it was terminal, I was feeling exactly what you are describing.  My Mom did not want us crying in front of her or want to talk about death. I think it was just too overwhelming for her to deal with her own feelings let alone to see us so sad, she asked us to be strong.

Like you, I thought “how can I say goodbye to a person I love so very much?” So, instead of goodbye, I decided to thank her for being such a loving and wonderful mother. I remember sitting down with her one day when she was still feeling okay. I told her how much I loved her and how she was such a very good Mom. She told me that she loved me so much and that she had appreciated that I had taken care of her because it made the whole thing less stressful for her. She told me that she wouldn’t worry about me because she knew I was a strong person (when things get tough nowadays, I think of her saying those words).

She died about 2 weeks later.  I don’t think I actually said good bye until after she passed.  I am okay with that because I told her what I needed to say.

I hope this helps.
Thinking of you,

GWTBB

PS- I think it’s serendipity that you posted on the 28th. It’s the sixth anniversary of my Mom’s death.

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Reply by moderator | modératrice
18 Nov 2012, 1:28 PM
Dear Angie,

How are you? You are in out thoughts.
Colleen

PS: Did you see the thread started by Tanya99 Missing my mom? 
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