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Reply by AdoptedSon
11 Jan 2013, 6:48 PM

Well the Doctor showed up yesterday.

He's prescribed some bacterial antibiotic, and a probiotic supplement for her.  Said there was some fluid in the lungs, but is ordering the home lab to come and do some blood work and urine test.

She had the first pill last night, another this morning but I am starting to think that this whole hallucination is a bit more than just a result of some infection.

I am wondering more if it is simply her trying to come to terms with death. I mean the whole 'strange guy keeping tabs on her' and 'calling her to check up on her' when she acknowledges she has no phone, or how he gets in touch, makes me think it is her being afraid of the unknown - death.

Maybe I am over reaching, or something.  It just is scary but I am no Doctor. I just find it hard to come up with excuses or even ways to cajole her about it.  She is so adamanat about it, that is really makes me wonder if it is just caused by an 'infection'

Anyhow, thank you all for your support.  It is greatly appreciated

Ian.
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Reply by ShiningStar
11 Jan 2013, 7:07 PM

Hi Ian,

It's good to hear that the doctor was there and that she's going to be tested and treated if needed.  Hopefully the halluciantions will stop after doing that. 
On the other hand you are right about maybe this being a way for her to express her fear to death and who isn't afraid..well I am for sure.

Have you talked to her about this? About life and death?

I know this is a hard conversation to have but in my experience with palliative care I have witnessed how helpful it is to talk about that fear. Sometimes the fear is not of dying but what's going to happen to your loved ones after you are gone..or unfinishes business that need to be addressed, fear of being forgotten, I mean, it could be anything. The only way of knowing is asking right?

I am wishing you the best. 
Thanks so much for sharing with us.
Sending you my warmest thoughts,

ShiningStar.


 
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Reply by AdoptedSon
11 Jan 2013, 9:47 PM

Hi ShingStar

Yes we have had that talk, a few times actually and each time it was a gut wrencher.

It certainly wasn't easy the first time, nor the second time with the Rabbi, though I did find some comfort in his words.  Though I think he was more uncomfortable about it, than either of us was.

Just seems that Mom isn't finding much comfort in the words, or is holding back for some odd reason.  She is tired of the pain, of all of it, yet she keeps rallying. Guess that is the spirit refusing to give up.

Not easy to watch, but maybe it is time to talk about it again, as she seems to need the reassurance that it is okay with me.

Ian
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Reply by Tian
11 Jan 2013, 11:35 PM

Dear Ian

I actually know someone who suffered hallucinations caused by a urinary tract infection. Even if the antibiotic doesn't clear things up I doubt that the hallucinations have a psychological basis. People's minds wear down with time and disease, notably cancer. Does your mother have cancer? If the hallucinations continue I urge you to continue seeking help from a physician.

I'm surprised and disappointed that the Rabbi you met with was uncomfortable talking about death. I think you should talk to a different Rabbi. Regardless, the more you talk with your mother about each other's feelings the better. Was your mother in Europe during the war or have family there?

Wishing you the best.

Tian

 
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Reply by J.D.
13 Jan 2013, 2:51 PM

Hello,
I am no expert so I can only tell you what I have experienced.  My mother is currently 89 and has short term memory loss due to low hemoglobin.  I think the hardest part for you, Ian, is to have the hallucinations diagnosed accurately.  A quick doctor's visit to an elderly patient makes it a very difficult circumstance to assess.  Years ago, my mother  experienced hallucinations and paranoia and it took years until doctors realized she was schizophrenicThen it took another year of trying different medications til one proved to work.  Staying on the medication, kept her chemical balance in check and she has not suffered hallucinations for 20 years.  With all that your mother is going through, a chemical inbalance in her brain, could be the cause.  Is the doctor that came to visit, knowledgeable in mental health conditions?  Does your mother later remember that she had been seeing things in her room?  Can you discuss it when she is more coherent?

We are all just brainstorming, arent we!

Paulette
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21 Jan 2013, 1:24 AM

Hi Ian,

It's been a good week now since your mother was prescribed the antibiotic. How is she doing? How are you doing.

JD,
Thanks for sharing your mother's experience. While there are many causes for hallucinations and as many different ways of managing them, it is helpful to know that we are not alone. JD how is your mom doing at the moment?

Talk to you both soon.
Colleen
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Reply by Digger
21 Jan 2013, 3:06 PM

Hello Ian,

Your mother is experiencing something common in all end-of-life scenarios - altered states of consciousness. The first thing to note is that these are normal. We don't understand much about altered states partly because they are very subjective. For those on the outside they are difficult to understand. For those experiencing such a state, fear can arise. 

You can normalize the experience by acknowledgeing that for her they are real. A quiet presence holding the space for her to engage the experience wil help her greatly.
 
Sharing your experiences with altered states helps all of us. Thanks to you and your dear mother.

Dale



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Reply by Tian
21 Jan 2013, 3:43 PM

Digger, I agree with what you say about reacting to hallucinations but Ian has not explicitly told us that his mother is at the end of life stage. So Ian, have doctors given you a time frame (as tentative as it may be) about how much time your mother has left? Whatever it may be I recognize that you are in an extremely trying situation and sympathize with you.

Tian 
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