Dear Cindie,
Welcome back! I, too, can understand challenges in relationship to a computer. I hope you will not have difficulties from now on. You want to stay in touch, and we want to be there for you.
I agree with NatR that it has been a major advancement for you to decide to take charge of your mother's health, and to keep a file of all the information and events of each day. When caring for someone whose health is so fragile and complex, it is very easy to lose track of all that is being told you. And you can forget happenings of the day which can have a significant impact on future decisions and interventions. Someone needs to coordinate the progress so that all involved can remain informed. Congratulations and I wish you the energy you need to keep up this important coordinating. I am very happy that you mother appreciates this effort and its healing results for her.
It is wonderful that your Mom seems to be feeling better as a result of the chemo. Whatever the cause, feeling better is such a boost for her and for all surrounding her. While this may change, it is good to receive the positive moments as gift.
How good that you have been to see your counselor and found strength and understanding of your feelings around smoking. That has opened up a win-win scenario for you and your mother. I hope it can proceed, bringing greater peace to all.
I would encourage you to continue to look for all means which increase your sense of inner peace. That peace will affect how you look at life, and how creative you can be in navigating the challenges before you. That peace will also spill over to those around you. Sounds like you are already on that path. I am very happy for you.
I, too, am a non-smoker, and also find the smell of stale smoke, "smoky' breath, smoke-invaded clothing, a real challenge. I am always amazed that other non-smokers can come to habituate to it all. I see that in many families, including my own. Fortunately, I do not become ill, as you do, when in the presence of cigarette smoke.
How difficult for you who love your husband, and want to support him through this difficult time in his life. While you do not wish to increase his stress, it is important to you that he understand your needs. It is good that you will be talking this through together with a counselor. Such a setting will, hopefully, keep a balance of respect and creativity. All the very best to you and your husband!
So sorry to hear that your friend is facing some greater difficulties as she walks her healling path. With her, also, you are learning respect as she attempts to respect you and you her. What beautiful examples of love!
You are a very strong, honest, and loving person Cindie. I see you growing throughout this time of pain. Know that every day I am sending you energies of love, peace, hope and strength. Continue to live one moment at a time.
Plum1