Hi Deb,
Yay! Your visitor has left the building. What a huge relief that must be for you. My mom used to have her sisters come and stay with her once a year and as much as she enjoyed them, she was very relieved when they left and so was I so that we could get back to doing our normal things. Can you tell that I don't like having my space invaded? Lol! Even when the girls have friends stay over I'm not overly happy about it.
That's great news that your tests came back and you passed them with flying colors. I'm sure you did the happy dance. I'm pretty nervous about having mine done. I know that I have issues and don't really want to hear how badly I've been treating my body. I try to figure out why I don't start taking care of myself and all I can figure out is that I don't really care about myself. I'm guessing that I am so depressed that I just don't care about anything and even trying to guilt myself about needing to be here for my girls doesn't seem to work. How's that for honesty? It's selfish I know but I'm being brutally honest. Hmm, that's the first time I've actually put that into words. I look at my girls with their bright futures ahead of them and their youth and realize that I believed that my future was to be with Len and now that he's gone I don't have much to look forward to. I guess it's up to me to plod along and see what happens.
I can picture that hair color of yours. He!He! A cougar eh? Well I guess that's better than a hyena or a monkey. I remember the first time I did my hair and it turned orange. My mom just laughed at me. Since then I've managed to find blonde colors that work without too many mishaps. My oldest has tried many colors in her hair and everything works with her skin tone. I loved it when I would do it purple and hot pink. It looked amazing.
This real estate business is driving me crazy. Not only did I have to let the realtor go and deal with the guilt associated with it but I had to wait for my brother while he put together a list of questions to ask of potential realtors. The delay was caused by him being busy doing a project at home. Lol! It almost sounds like he expects me to interview possible realtors. One girl was really wanting to take this on but he has to think about it because he'd like to have someone who lives in the area sell it. Probably so that I can deal with any garbage that comes our way. I don't understand his logic at all. I don't have the time or money to play this stupid game, he does. It's like he figures that I have the luxury of taking on extra jobs right now when I'm on my own trying to deal with this stupid house of mine and figure out where we are going to go. I guess as long as nothing disrupts his neat and tidy world, that's all that matters. Such a selfish man.
I think my 'gift' of talking comes from not having anyone to talk to on a day to day basis. I have one friend that calls me weekly and that's about it. I can only share so much with the girls. The stepdaughter has backed off since we came back from the island and hasn't shown any interest in coming by. My niece doesn't have time for me the past few months so I sit here in my own quiet world and feel so alone. I do make a point of going out each day to the stores nearby just to have human contact. Once I get us out of this mess, I'll have to figure out how to build a new life. Even my group classes are over until September so no place to vent. Thanks for being my listener! You poor girl. Lol!
Sooo, you're going to be 50. You should go out and celebrate you! Yes, mom's are the glue in the family and I hear it so often. When my mom passed away we all fell apart. We used to celebrate every special occasion at her house, birthdays, Christmas, Easter etc. Once she was gone it all changed. My nephews wife tries to include us in things but she's about the only one and even that has tapered off. Oh well, with the support this family has given, I guess we'll do just fine without them. I think we have lost a lot of respect for them all.
Well, I have to go push myself to do some work around here. I feel so stuck and even knowing that I'm running out of time to accomplish everything, I can't seem to get anything done at all. I feel like I'm sabotaging myself. Must be time to kick my own butt. Maybe if I promise myself that bit of time out on my deck for good behavior, I'll accompish something. Lol!
Take care and stay strong.
Hugs,
Tracie