Hello Friends,
I am managing OK under the circumstances. 2013 has really sucked so far, and it is only April! My Aunt died at the end of January, a close friend of may parents died in February, and my Dad died on March 4. The dog of a close friend of the family died 3 weeks ago. And now I am on medical disability leave from work because of my back. Yay! NOT But you know what? After surviving all that, I wasn't overly upset or worried about taking time off work. I guess I have learned that a) I can't do much about it, and b) I'll get through it somehow. And maybe also c) tomorrow is going to come no matter what I do. :-) So maybe I have learned some peace in the process?
I had an urgent CT scan about 2 weeks ago because of the pain I was in, and it turns out that I have two issues combining to make things just extra fun! I have severe facet arthritis as well as 2 bulging disks in my lumbar spine. If that sounds painful, it sure is. I will be off work until at least the end of May, and perhaps longer depending on how I heal and what the orthopedic surgeon says. But I am still waiting to see him - you know how our medical system works. I have almost finished my second week of ordered "do nothing"-ness, and I am bored silly. Depending on how things go, I will be able to start some careful mild activity next week. I am still at the can't sit/stand/walk for more than about 20 minutes before I have to lay on the floor for a bit from the pain. So work is really not an option at the moment, whether I like to admit it or not.
I am so very thankful and full of gratitude for the situation I now find myself in, and I don't think I would be doing so well if things were different. As you know, I live in the basement of my parent's house, so I don't have the stress of getting evicted if I miss paying rent. Plus, Mom has already said that she will front me some money until my insurance benefits come in, which may take at least a month, so I don't have to worry about starving or paying my bills. There is the added benefit of getting away from the fools at work for a while as well. And of course still working through all of my feelings after the death of my Dad.
Even though my sister and I frequently agree to disagree, the family has really become closer since my Dad passed away, and we are supporting each other. Of course it helps that we live only 3 doors apart, and see each other almost every day :-) I worry about my Mom, especially now that Dad has died and I am more aware of her "slowing down" with normal aging, so I am very thankful that I am living with her and can "keep an eye" on things. My sister is also a single Mom, so I am also glad I am close for my nephew. I also think it is good for Mom to be able to see her kids and grandson as much as she wants. We have split the week up so that I cook 2 nights for the whole family, my sister does 2, my Mom does 2, and the 7th day we fend for ourselves. It has really taken the stress off us all as far as coming up with meals goes, and I think Mom has been enjoying a break from being a "housewife". I have even joked with her about the fact that she is coming home later in the evenings from doing her hobbies, and that she almost misses her "curfew". She just got back from a short overnight trip to see one of her old high school chums..... something she has not done for YEARS. It is so nice to see Mom not chained to the house like she was for many years with Dad.
For today.... things are OK. Not great or fun, but I am feeling less "crisis-y" about things that are happening. Feeling that I don't have a lot of control over what is going on, but better able to deal with things as they happen.
Hope that makes sense. Peace to you all,
NiteLad