Hi Paula,
It is not unusual to feel like you're floating along. It is okay to feel 'normal' at times and to feel totally out of control the next. You may find days when you know you need to be doing something but feel frozen and unable to move forward. It's okay. You have to be gentle with yourself and allow yourself to take days off when necessary. It has helped me keep my sanity through back to back losses. I also found that I have not cried as much as I thought I would or stopped facing each day as it comes. We must find our new 'normal' and that isn't easy to do. Please don't beat yourself up by thinking you have downplayed your Father's death. You gave it your all and more, It is very difficult to stay focused on one person's passing when you are struggling to deal with the imminent passing of another. I know I was in a complete fog trying to spend every day at the hospital with my mom when my husband had just passed away the day before she went in. Your mind just can't take it all in at once. I think we would go crazy if we tried to do that.
As far as the councelling, I think it is a personal decision. For myself I found that I had far too many things to deal with to be able to possibly allow myself to fall apart and become useless. I just started my councelling two weeks ago on the 10 month anniversary of my husbands death. My councellor says that this is not uncommon. Are you taking any medication to deal with your grief or just allowing yourself to feel whatever comes your way?
Reopening your store will definitely be difficult but I'm sure that people will be compassionate and will understand your tears. As time goes on, it will become a little easier but right now you are very raw. Be kind to yourself and don't worry about other people's reaction to your emotions. It's a long, tough road but we are all here for you and will do our best to prop you up.
Hugs,
Tracie