Dear Lilbear,
I ache with you as you wait for the results of your Mom's biopsy, especially when the surgeon has not given you positive news so far. So much to hold at once! Your Mom's presentiments, her indication that she may not wish to continue on this long journey for herself, and for all of you who have already suffered so much. At the same time, your children's needs are immediate and constant. You are, understandably, exhausted and longing for a familiar place of comfort.
As everyone else has already said, I hope you can find ways to care for yourself, however simple they may be. Treat yourself to something. I am glad that your are experiencing your brother's support although he cannot be there.
Yesterday, I spoke to my closest friend who has just been diagnosed with cancer. He needs further surgery to determine the seriousness and he spoke of the waiting for each step to unfold. I feel so much for all of you who wait, and I am helpless to take away the angst of it. All I can do is send the energy of my love and presence.
Much still lies ahead for you and your family. I hold you in prayer each day that you can take just one moment at a time.
Plum1