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Reply by pollyanna
08 Jun 2013, 3:21 AM

My hubby has MRI's every 2 months and has done surgery, radiation and 9 months of chemo. First, oral chemo but after 6 months the tumors had grown and crossed over to the left side so chemo IV was started but after four months it had caused a bleed in his brain so that had to be stopped. We were told one year with these type of cells, the surgeon told me only  50% had made it to 14 months. Yes, there are many types of tumors with many differing cells.
I believe he will out live their prognosis because hubby has been so positive and kept his sense of humor. He considers himself very lucky compare to many other cancer patients.
I'm trying to look after myself.
Thank you!:)
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Reply by JennJilks
08 Jun 2013, 12:46 PM

You have an honourable journey, it is not an easy path.
I meant to tell you waht someone told me, when I was fighting for my father to be treated with dignity.
Every day, look for the diamonds.
That is to say, that laugh, the glimmer of the old dad I knew; his sense of humour, recognition that he knew me, as there is joy.
I often think of our young exressive arts therapy participant (age 8 or 10-ish), who walked in to  find her mother dead from an aneurysm. She is a survivor.

You simple handle what it is, live in the present, and do the best you can, making the best decisions you can at the time, with the information you have. You seem to be making progress. The pre-grieiving process is a healthy one, as you come to terms with life and death.
I've been interviewing my latest client, doing a Life Review.  <= This is a link to a Life Review I did for my friend, Michelle. She is paraplegic, living in LTC having been a nurse for 41 years.

Dignity Therapy; Final words for final days
How do you want to be remembered?’
What messages do you want to leave for your family?
‘What are you most proud of in your life?’

‘What have you accomplished in your life?’

Michelle, in LTC
 
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Reply by sickness
08 Jun 2013, 3:57 PM

I have been thinking of you a lot these days.  Hoe are you!?   How's is hubby doing?   what did his MRI results shostarters palliative and home care been arranged?  

Yes we have to find the "diamonds" in our days... I love that.....  But it is soo hard!,!

hang in there sweets..

cyber hugs (( ))
Nadine 
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Reply by pollyanna
09 Jun 2013, 3:29 AM

Our middle son ,24 yrs old,was very emotional last night , crying and telling me that they( our 3 sons) will always be there for me and how well I have been holding the family together.
Yes, they are my diamonds! I do agree that we have to find beauty in daily life even though we are surrounded by pain and death.
We have drs appt on Monday so should get MRI results then. Hubby went to bed last night at 8:15 so I spent a lonely night watching a DVD, but I guess I may have to get used to that. It was me and my kitty cat watching :Flash Dance" and oldie but goodie.
My hubby has kept us laughing that is for sure.
Waiting to hear from palliative should be soon.
Ttys, Pauline

(( )) back at you! :)
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Reply by JennJilks
09 Jun 2013, 12:51 PM

Pauline, what region do you live in?
I am very familiar with Ontario's supports. Have you called in volunteers from hospice at all?
They will give you respite. 
Truly it's only in the US where you need a 'palliative' diagnosis, which many doctors are reluctant to do, in order to access services.
 
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Reply by pollyanna
11 Jun 2013, 5:37 AM

I live in BC.
I just spoke with a volunteer from hospice tonight.
Got bads news today as hubby's MRI results were not good, dr told me that he has about 1 month :(
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Reply by JennJilks
11 Jun 2013, 11:54 AM

My deepest condolences, Pauline. 
B.C. has one of the best hands-on hospice organisations in the country. Lean on them. I didn't know about them during my time.
We volunteers work to support you as you support your loved one.
Do not fear death. It is part of life. You will learn much about yourself during this journey.
You cannot change this part of your life story. There is nothing you did or didn't do to cause it.
Accept where you are each day. Share your feelings with your children. You will model the grieving process for them.
You have already indicated that you have a wise head on your shoulders. 
 If I could suggest: have confidence in yourself. You can manage this. It is an honour to travel this road. Ask for a pain management kit, if you do not already have a pain management plan in place.  
Doctors, of course, are not always able to predict disease trajectories.
When he is ready to let go, he will. Some caregivers assure their dying loved ones that they will manage when it is time, and give them permission to let go, when it is time.
All the best. 
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Reply by sickness
11 Jun 2013, 11:25 PM

My dear Pauline..
l am sooo sorry about your hubby's MRI results.... When the dr.'s give your hubby a time frame  that is very very hard to accept and deal with!   My prayers and thoughts are with your family.  Please, please push before hospice care! you will not be sorry...hubby, you and your boys need this right now!,

my hubby at the beginning of the year was given 3 months... Now the drs say that he is simply amaZing and keeps on proving them wrong!   So...don't give up hope..

we got bad news on CT scan today...chemo is not working..all lesions are growing...we see oncology next Tues..to see whether or not to continue treatment!  

For now ... One memorable day at a time ..

xo
Nadine 
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Reply by pollyanna
12 Jun 2013, 5:40 AM

I'm sorry for your news :( Those decisions can be difficult to make. I always told hubby that it was his body and I supported whatever decision he chose because I felt that I had no way of knowing how or what he was feeling. But everyone is different and all you can do is support your loved one!
My hubby had a seizure in bed at 5 am today, I was so scared, I thought he was dying. I have never witnessed one before. I was with hubby's mom when she died last fall and it was so similar. He bit his tongue and had blood spurting out of his mouth and he was gasping. Ugh. Spent the day inemergency and came home with anti seizure meds so I hope it doesn't happen again.
It was a memorable day, my first seizure and first ride in an ambulance.
We just keep on trucking...
I am really getting tired of being asked "how I am doing" because you know what I don't really know how I am doing to be totally honest. I have just accepted that this is the "new normal" and you can lay down and cry or your can hold your head up and take it on the chin. The latter is what I choose to do! One thing my hubby has taught me is to keep living, stop feeling sorry for myself and just keep living because life is wonderful :)
Thanks for listening to my rants!!
xo Pauline
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Reply by sickness
13 Jun 2013, 11:48 PM

Pauline...those aren't rants....they are genuine feelings!!   A seizure .. OMG... That on top of everything!  That must have been sooo scary!  were your boys home?   I totally hear you when you say "this is the new normal",  unfortunately we have been doing this for more than 10 years and yes ...this is what we have been dealt... So we "deal" with it as best we can!!

whats happening with hospice or even home care?????? 

(( hugs))
Nadine 
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