Katherine
I wanted to wade in and lend my thoughts but more importantly my experiences. Many people have sympathy but those of us here have a unique perspective. We have empathy. Each of us know what each of us feel. We’ve been there and done that. And we all realize that loss and it’s subsequent grief are unique idiosyncratic fingers for each of us. We all grieve differently and face it differently and none of us judge others because we have empathy.
The one rule or goal I have learned, well two. One, do not hide from the grief jump into it face it fight with it. It has a bigger life message for us. Second, grief is an ever changing avatar that moves with you through time. It feels different each year and behaves differently. It is not painful or joyful it is just a window into ourselves, our love, and our world.
Below is from a post I wrote ‘Animating My Grief Like a Pixar Film’
“Grief is not sadness. There’s sadness in grief, but grief is not exhausted when the sadness goes away. And it does go away, because you can only drag yourself around and rend your clothes for so long. Sadness has a shelf life, but grief endures."
"Your better self is born of grief. Grief is the amniotic fluid for your humanity. That's how it works. the guilt will pass, but the grief will not, because it is composted into something much more life-loving–but not human-hating. There's no hating, no resigning, no withdrawing or running or transcending. Stay here. Stay long enough that the grief can have its way with you, and you begin to realize that this grief is a wisdom, a recognition that human being are maintained by the death of other living things."
That is from here
Another post ‘Domesticating the Feral Nature of Grief’ Addresses a reflection four years away from the loss. In a way it is my continued measure and understanding of what grief is for me
That is from here
In the end I guess what I want to say is we know, we understand, we share that which you (we all struggle with), and ultimately because we have empathy offer insight and reflection to learn from and help navigate the shoals of loss. We are here.