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13 Jan 2014, 2:12 AM

That is a lot Jenn. Thanks for updating us. We're thinking of you.
Colleen 
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Reply by KathCull_admin
14 Jan 2014, 3:46 AM


Hi Jenn
I will be thinking of you and your family too Jenn. Hoping for good weather and driving conditions. (we have a dog we love - so I have an idea how much you care for your cats) Take care
Katherine
 
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Reply by JennJilks
14 Jan 2014, 2:15 PM

Thanks, all. I have great confidence in our healthcare system. There are individual cogs in the wheel: stupid individuals who are poorly educated or badly socialized, who may be having a bad day, and/or take out their frustrations on patients.

We have encountered nothing but good people. 
Our surgeon is a young stud muffin. When he was explaining about the robotic surgery he was like a little boy with a new toy! He was aniamted and very excited. This type of surgery is minimally invasive, leads to faster recovery times, and they send you home after 48 hours.

 I've written about the experience of treatment trajectory, we've done our research, read everything they've given us and we can do no more but live in the present moment. We have all of the information. 
That said, it is still a major operation,with a catheter for a couple of weeks.
Many thanks, all. 
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Reply by KathCull_admin
31 Jan 2014, 2:04 AM

Hi JennJilks
I was thinking about you today when I was driving home and wondered how things were going this week for you and your husband.
Take care
Katherine 
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Reply by JennJilks
31 Jan 2014, 4:54 PM

Thanks for asking, Kathy. 
The surgery went well. They let me drive him home after lunch the day following. In the daylight, as it was a snow blowy day, and an hour and a half drive home from hospital.

We are learning to manage the catheter. (This is a new skill, as a volunteer we don't do hands-on care!)
It's a matter of managing pain meds, new symptoms (post surgery urinary incontinency: who knew?), washing out the catheter bags, keeping my hands clean, and doing all the chores he usually does (his own laundry, feeding the deer, groceries, dishes) as well as my chores (the snowblower- which has frozen up, feeding the birds, cleaning the 100m driveway of snow).

We made a pre-op video whilst waiting for surgery. That was fun. Cheerful staff, with lots of TLC.


Staff were all amazing.
I'm tired. And I'm fit. I cannot imagine how others do this for long periods. 
The surgeon phone me, as I went home to feed cats, deer, goldfish, and bring in the mail and newspaper.
He said it looked as if it hadn't spread to other organs, but the pathology on the excised tissue will tell us for sure.
I am optimistic, not looking for things to worry about, and living in the present moment.
This was plan A; plan B is hormone therapy, plan C is radiation, etc.
He's paranoid about incision infection, and driving me nuts. (It's not a long drive!)
My ex-husband's chemo isn't going well. They are worried about finding day programs for his 2nd wife, with early onset dementia. My ex is incapable of dealing with it. My poor daughter is stressed out. Crazy times for all. 
I know we aren't alone and this helps.
 
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Reply by JennJilks
03 Feb 2014, 8:49 AM

My poor children. My son is flying back from Vancouver. My daughter and other son are at the hospital. Their father, my ex-husband, has had a heart attack. His wife, with dementia, is with friends for now. 
 
There are days, and nights, when you cannot help your adult children emotionally. You hand it over to their significant others to do so. There are times when you can facilitate their journey. I hold fast to that. This is a time when you know you've given them the tools to handle whatever life throws at them. 
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Reply by KathCull_admin
04 Feb 2014, 2:03 AM

Hello Jenn,
The video is great - thanks so much for your update and your wonderful sense of humour.

Oh my Jenn. It sounds like it has been a stressful time for everyone - including you. No matter the age - our children are always our children. How are you managing with all the physical tasks you have to get done? Your place sounds beautiful - with birds and deer but also a lot of work for one woman (or man for that matter:) Are you able to get rest for your body and soul? 
Katherine
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Reply by NatR
04 Feb 2014, 3:02 AM

Hi Jenn also enjoyed the video and can tell that this part of your life is coming on GangBusters! If it rains it seems to pour!!!!

 Keep that energy and positive note - oh and a glass of wine here and there might help you unwind!
it sounds like between outside and inside chores - you are going to be very busy!

i can tell your hubby appreciates you:)

i am so sad that all the other stress is happening for your ex and his wife - and of course this impacts your children.
hang in there and I am thinking of you all.
remembet to take care of you;)
best wishes,
natR 
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Reply by JennJilks
04 Feb 2014, 2:53 PM

All is going well for us. The new meds are good. I've put 1800km on the car going into appointments.
My ex-husband is to be brought out of his coma today, but he was not breathing when paramedics arrived.
My poor kids are so stressed.

Hubby has cat sitters. hubby/catsNotice his pillow for protection! 
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Reply by JennJilks
04 Feb 2014, 3:05 PM

It's been a tough week for us, but mostly my adult children.
Their guilt, about not being able to help us, is tough.
PART XVII: What I learned about managing post-surgery care and a catheter
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