Discussion Forums

 
Reply by JennJilks
04 Feb 2014, 3:14 PM

It helps to add the link. sigh.
http://ontarioseniors.blogspot.ca/2014/02/part-xvii-what-i-learned-about-managing.html 
Report this post      
 
Reply by NatR
04 Feb 2014, 3:24 PM

Hi Jenn.  Your patient looks like he is content and with company too!  I am so allergic to cats especially  that they wouldn't do much for me.

your double whammy of your family at this time is incomprehensible to me....one big surgery and patient at a time....and your kids having so much stress....it's a good thing you are their mom!  I have every faith in your abilities to weather the storm!

you are my Hero this week? Well, every other week too!

be encouraged as i send you a virtual hug:) and remember to stop and take care Of you!

this week just moving from one little place to another bigger place has me on my knees...literally...foot pain flare up, back pain, emotional stress...and on top of that I will be looking for things of mine for the next year! Lol

Have a good day everyone...it's sunny in the north....
smiles,
natr 
 
Report this post      
 
Reply by JennJilks
04 Feb 2014, 3:26 PM

It is stressful moving, isn't it Nat?
All the best to you.
I've lost things in moves, I know what it's like!!!
Take care, many thanks for your hugs!~ 
Report this post      
 
Reply by JennJilks
24 Aug 2014, 12:11 PM

Well, I have an update on hubby's health. His surgery, Jan. 28th, 2014, didn't eradicate all of the cancer cells. They haunt his body, just ready to rear up. His PSA has gone from 0.3 in April, to 0.46 in July. This signifies an upwards trajectory. By 4.0 or 5.0 they will intervene, the PSA cancer cells are probably in his lymph nodes. Growing out of control.

We are putting cancer out of our minds until Sept. 15th, when we go back for a new PSA result. At that point we may or may not begin andogen hormone treatments, depending upon how high the reading is. Patience, and putting it out of my mind everytime I think of it. It's an excellent challenge. I can only deal with certain things.

test results
 

Meantime, I told hubby to go to the Naturopath because he's been having stomach issues for years. I knew he had food intolerances, (i.e. dairy). These are different than allergies, the symptoms are different: growly stomach, etc. The test isn't cheap, but he is worth it. The test results, from a company, are well-laid out and specific. The photo shows the test for dairy products. It is very specific re: cow milk, goat milk, yogurt, cheeses, etc. 

The results came in from our lovely Dr. Jen.

Hubby is allergic/sensitive to: 

 It's not good news – the test results, as hubby is sensitive to dairy, eggs, yeast, kidney beans, spelt, casein, whey, and this means a whole new attack for menus. It means vegan bread, and none of those multi-grain breads we love, and limiting the times we eat out.
 
He's been taking glutamine and probiotics, this helps especially after the strong drugs he took post-surgery.

Finally, Dr. Jen thinks he might have a candida overgrowth. We'll test for that next. Altough, there are a couple of self-tests on-line. It would explain a lot of symptoms. We all have it, but extreme symptoms are caused by an overgrowth of this fungus.



 We're in shock with the allergens. I'm going to have to change my whole way of cooking. Deep breath.We were exhausted Friday after the appointment. Sounds silly, but the emotional stress is tough. It was our 12th wedding anniversary, too. Not that we are young. But I'm wife #3 and I was married the first time in 1976!
Thanks for listening, all.
I hope some of this information might help.  
Report this post      
 
Reply by KathCull_admin
24 Aug 2014, 2:57 PM

Hi Jenn
It's very good to hear from you Jenn. Belated Happy Anniversary! It may not have been the happiest one you two have, had but you were together.

I am sorry the results on both fronts were not more encouraging. Our daughter was on a very restricted diet for a short time - I love to cook and doing so is a way of caring for my family.  To be so limited in what I could use was much harder then I thought - as you say for me it was a new 'attack'.  But you seem up for the challenge and of course the benefits that are possible.

Thinking of you and your family Jenn - and all the past year has held for you.

Katherine

Report this post      
 
Reply by NatR
24 Aug 2014, 3:12 PM

Dear Jenn,

as katherine said  - thanks for sharing the journey you and your husband are going through.
the norm becomes very un normal.  The restrictions allergies sensitivities and worries make each day one that you just take as it comes

i Agee the restrictions on enjoying a meal out is difficult to take - but there are other things that fill your mind, appointments, test results and the what ifs that come into your mind un-asked for .

jenn you have a gift for surviving three marriages - I understand a tiny bit how complicated that makes get togethers etc.  But I see your photos on fb and I know you are doing it all well:)

your  hubby must be so happy to have you, Caring for him, informed about the routes to take for treatment and answers - and yoir determination to make each day the most important one:) for you both

support and gentle caring are a gift!

carry on and let us listen in and support you as your life unfolds
sending you strength and a cyber hug 
sincerely, NatR 
 
Report this post      
 
Reply by JennJilks
29 Nov 2015, 11:01 PM

I am amazed at how long we have been managing hubby's prostate cancer diagnosis. Surgery was Jan. 28, 2014, but we'd been back and forth to the first urologist, then the 2nd and third. 

He is hangin in there.
This past week I have learned a lot.
He has been managing my laryngitis and bronchitis. He took me into the ER, where a doctor who looked old enough to drive but not to vote, gave me ventolin and an Xray. It isn't pneumonia. I get it every year.
I contracted my virus from my client's daughter. She is aged 70 and looking after her mom, age 92. 
I have another client, in her 70s, who is on a catheter, colostomy bag, and oxygen. 
It makes one find perspective.

Hubby has been finding meals to bring home. He's been finding me chick flicks at the video store, fetching me all sorts of treats. (♪♫♩ I love Turtles!) Chocolate helps my throat. Seriously!!!
Every morning he fills my bird feeders for me, after he looks after his deer. He cleaned the bathroom today!
I have learned to accept the TLC. I'm on meds that flake me out. I am relaxing and trying to be a good patient. Is it ever hard! He is payong it forward, I know. 
 
Well, we gird our loins for CT Scan #5 in a couple of weeks.
I prepare for the worst and hope for the best.


My dear friend is caring for her mother, in LTC, with dementia. I put together a book for her about her mother's funny comments. Moms say the funniest things when short-term memory goes!
She focuses on the positives, and lets it go when her mother cannot make emotional contact.
She is my hero.

Then, I made another book for my son's mother-in-law! He is visiting this week from Vancouver. We are in SE Ontario. Same deal, photos from Facebook. Is it ever rewarding, and keeps my mind and hands busy.

In the meantime, there was a report of a death at the mine where my brother works in N. Ontario.
There is only one phone in the fly-in camp.
I was worried sick.
I decided to let it go. One way or another I would hear.
I talked to my brother, not the best communicator, today.
It took them 4 1/2 days to unbury the workers body. My bro is also a rescue worker, who uses dynamite in the mine. I never know when he is int he camp or out. He lives on Vancouver Island.
He is of little support at the best of times. Sigh.
I'm sure many can empathise with me!
So it is another week.
We shall move forward.

 All the best to those of you out there who are struggling. 
Report this post      
 
Reply by Carlyn
01 Dec 2015, 7:37 PM

Hi Jennifer,

We met sort of on a thread I made when I joined a few months back. i just was reading this thread to catch up and wanted to say i'm glad you're taking care of you.

It's a strange thing going from caregiver to the one who needs care, whether it's a lot of care or a bit. I hope you continue to enjoy your rest, chocolate and movies and that you heal well and soon. Reading your journey taking care of your husband, you are a marvel. I thought I was thorough when taking care of my family members. Your efforts and your blog are incredible sources of information.

About siblings.... yep. I relate.  Solidarity with you there on the brother thing especially. I'm very glad your brother is okay.

CT scan #5... i'm following your journey and just wanted to offer my support along with others. I'm thinking positive for both your husband and for you. You two are a marvellous couple and it's heartwarming reading how you take care of each other. Also lots of great tips! Thanks so much for sharing as much as you do. It's incredible what you've built up in resources for others.

Carlyn 
Report this post      
 
Reply by JennJilks
06 Dec 2015, 2:54 PM

Carlyn, you are so kind!
I often feel alone. I wonder what will happen when the prostate cancer cells, currently in his mesoabdominal lymph nodes, begin to spread themselves.

I am not afraid of being alone.
I am so surprised at the people who have good friends around them. I have a dear friend, we taught together, and all she does now is send me dates of her fundraising activities for an Arts Group. Hubby is no longer speaking to his best friend, who is increasingly negative towards all things sports, politics, weather (he hates Ottawa for the snow and goes south with his wife every year), and he has cut off contact iwth this man who brought him nothing but his depressive, perhaps bipolar rants and brought my hubby down. He is on triple the antidepressants I am on. We have learned to select our contacts. 

I continue to get much support, virtual, as it is, with Facebook friends. Nat's been a brick. I can see me being a hermit, happily paddling about my forest, and not really needing people, once I give care to hubby. I

I loathe the small town, which we live near to (5km). Such neoptism and all in the volunteer community. I have no one who would, say, bring casseroles if I were up to my arse in caregiving.
I have learned to appreciate all of you who support people like myself. I cannot stand groups any more. 
 
Anyway, I appreciate this community. Miss all the Christmas parties I would attend as a staff member. Still coughing, but the antibiotics are doing their work.
cheers from here! 
Report this post      
 
Reply by NatR
13 Dec 2015, 3:32 PM

Hey there Jenn and Carlyn and the group here

its nice t see the posts go by and know that even a word or two here and there makes a difference.
jenn I hear you about community  and the lack of support.

i moved to a small village near Belleville and tried to "infiltrate" the neighbour hood, the women's group....and without constant attendance and maybe giving blood...it's really hard to fit in with the Loyalists....a name that most people identify with via their family tree,   So I don't fit in either!!!!

we are a collection of all kinds, from all walks of life...and week after week I see nothing but reaching out to each other.  It's a wonderful bond between strangers who are caregiving to the Nth degree ( that's pretty stressful ) lol 

carry on talking, sharing feelings and I wish I could give you all a group hug....
tame care today  and enjoy the mild weather....;) 

best wishes....and happy Holidays if you are celebrating.  Frankly the mad rush of shoppers and commercials turns me off.l..but I continue to do what my parents (the preachers) always told me to do.....Let your little light shine.

burning a candle for each of you..... 
Hugs and Peace
natR
👍🏻💓😊 
Report this post      


Our Partners
Asked and Answered
Asked and Answered

Find out what Canadians
are asking

Ask a Professional
Ask a Professional

Our team of experts answers
your questions about
life-threatening illness and loss.

Just want to talk?
Just want to talk?

Join the Discussion
Forums

Books, Links, and More
Books, Links, and More

Recommended by our team

Programs and Services
Programs and Services

Find local, regional,
and national services