Hi Melinda,
It's so sad how much a person has to go through to try to survive when they have cancer. Having to witness all of this is like living a nightmare and just tears at your heart. There is so little that you can do except to be there. I'm surprised that Stan is feeling no pain but it's definitely a good thing. You would think that with his neck being such a mess that he would feel something. Is he on any pain medication? Any antibiotics at least? It sounds like his neck is infected but I would guess that if they thought it was that they would have him on major antibiotics. I know that Len had one infection after the other. I guess the immune system becomes so weak that it can't fight off much of anything.
Len saw the chemo doctor one last time also, even though the hospital told him there was nothing else that could be done. I guess they hand it over to the professionals to see if there is a glimmer of hope or something else that could be tried. At least they do everything in their power to save a person.
Have you been getting lots of rest? I hope you've been able to take some time for self care. Once Stan gets home you will probably want to stay close and hopefully they will step up the home care. Did you ever get the chance to find out about getting him a hospital bed? I know that here, they offered a bed, wheelchair, shower seat etc. Anything that makes it easier for the patient and their caregiver. The bed just makes it easier to adjust the pressure on different parts of the body so that if they become bedridden, they don't end up with bedsores.
You have had to witness so much and this is extremely painful. I wish that there was something I could say or do to help you through this. Just know that I am here listening and sending you a huge amount of love to help you get through this next part.
Hugs,
Tracie