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Reply by marstin
24 May 2014, 4:12 AM

Oops. Pardon my lack of tying skills, Xenia, I spelt your name wrong.
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Reply by marstin
31 May 2014, 6:04 AM

Hi Melinda,

After a stressful week of many hiccups with the reno's on my house, I sat down and thought of you tonight. How has your week been? How is Stan feeling? Are you able to sit out on your deck and relax?

Drop me a line when you feel like it.

Hugs,
Tracie
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Reply by Melinda
31 May 2014, 12:18 PM

HI Tracie!  Imagine "reno's" reminding you of me! Buddy had not been around for a couple of weeks then showed up yesterday morning. My heart sank.  He brought in a couple of beers (one for him and one for Stan) stayed about an hour and then left. Stan was in a tail spin all day...drank alot and would not eat. Stan has not been doing well lately...he was great for about two weeks after his radiation treatment and now he is doing the usual sinking. We see both the radiation and chemo Doctors the middle of June.
He is having alot of facial swelling but no bleeding.  Because of the swelling, I find him very hard to understand. He can no longer shout from the basement when he needs me so he claps his hands. I do have a bell, but thought better of it..lol! His mood is okay...which helps me alot. Makes me feel better when he is being thoughtful...
The Doctor put me on a puffer for COPD...even though I don't smoke!! My daughter (the nurse) is furious that this has happened. But Stan and his whole family do not believe second hand smoke kills. Its not too bad now...I can open all the windows, etc...but the winter is going to be a big concern. Or perhaps not.... anyway, back to the Doctor on Monday after trying the puffer for two weeks...I do not find it has helped much. Perhaps more testing is in order.  I am finding it really scary to think I may get sick...not now, please God!! How is your health Tracie??? I know you have been busy getting your place ready for sale...how is that going for you?
No, I have had no time to sit on the deck. At the end of June, I will be down to part time at work until the end of August...so that will be a tremendous relief....hoping Stan and I have a good summer!! And all of us do!!!  Take care.  Melinda
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Reply by marstin
31 May 2014, 3:19 PM

Hi Melinda,

Sounds like Stan's buddy got the message about not coming around so much. I can imagine this doesn't make Stan very happy because he was probably pretty dependant on this guy to keep him company and smoke and drink along with him. Still though, your health and sanity are extremely important and it's you that has to do what is best for both of you.

There are so many phases that cancer seems to go through and each one is unique. The fact that Stan's bleeding has subsided is a good thing but now that it's been replaced with the swelling that has to be concerning too. Good choice on the hand clapping instead of a bell. Lol! It brought back a memory of my dad laying in bed ringing his bell. I think my mom wanted to pull her hair out.

I am so sorry about your COPD. I have it too but it's my own darn fault. I know that my brother in law has been helping with the work around here and is also a smoker and the smoke really was getting to me so I said that maybe we should be doing that outside out of repect for the other workers coming through. So much better. If a smoker can't stand it, I can well imagine how a nonsmoker feels. It's disgusting.

All I ask for when we move is that I never have to go through reno's again. It has become a nightmare. The realtor's suggestion that the ensuite be finished has turned into a real mess. Turns out that the electricians who originally did the work, messed it up really bad. Who puts 13 recepticals in a dinky little bathroom? They must be the ones that didn't get put in the bedroom like they were supposed to be. All of the work that they did has had to be undone and all of the drywall taken down. They worked on this for 2 days. Trying to find a plumber that wasn't a ripoff took forever. They are coming tomorrow. The guys went to bring the shower stall upstairs to put it in place for the plumbing and it wouldn't fit up the staircase. Len had fought me on bolting the entertainment centre to the floor and of course he won, so they can't get the shower stall past it. I just wanted to cry. I've had this stall waiting for 2 years to install it and now I had to order a new one. The money is just pouring out and I'm getting so nervous about it. I hate this house! The timeline to put it on the market has been blown and the stress is unbelievable. My health? I'm not sure. Haven't heard a word on my ultrasound so I'll have to call the doctor this week.

Oops! Gotta run. The plumbers are now coming today instead.

Hugs,
Tracie
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Reply by Melinda
31 May 2014, 6:34 PM

Hi Tracie...no, it didn't take Stan long to replace Buddy lol! Though this guy seems to be okay and is actually putting in a good days work cleaning up the place outside. Hope it lasts..he smokes and drinks too... but not as much as the other one.
Yup, I remember the "disagreement" about the entertainment center! But the other problems are absolutely unbelievable...13 plugins in a small bathroom...you have to be kidding!!!!
Boy, somebody took advantage!! We had a fella put in our kitchen and he almost ruined it.
I wanted the place where we bought the kitchen to install it, but Stan would not hear of it and hired some jerk who made a mess. It really makes me wonder why we bother ...a good friend of mine has been single for years now. She really hesitates about getting involved again. She is enjoying her life as is...another friend of mine dated her husband for 13 years before marriage....when I asked her why she said "I wanted to make sure he was okay!"
I have always rushed into new relationships too fast...but hopefully I will be older and wiser next time. Whats that old saying about rushing in and then having lots of time for regret?
Well I must get off this computer and enjoy the beautiful weather we are finally having!
Nice to hear from you ...and hang in there!!  :)   Melinda


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Reply by marstin
31 May 2014, 10:04 PM

Hi Melinda,

Well, the plumbers are gone for the day now but will be back tomorrow. I was really hoping to have a break for at least one day but I guess it's not happening. I'm not used to so many people coming at me. It's exhausting. As I said to a friend of mine 'I've haven't had so many men come through my door in years'. Lol! As for the old electricians, they never did give me an invoice for the last time they were here. They're lucky they didn't or the doo doo would hit the fan. I can't believe how badly they messed up. That could be why the owner of the company suddenly stopped answering my calls, his boys messed up so badly. Like the old contractor, he was a friend of Len's. Great guys.

Stan's new friend sounds like he's more bearable than the other guy. At least so far he isn't stressing you out so much.

It's funny, when you mention relationships I must admit that I am torn. I have thought about meeting someone new, even if it's just to go out for coffee, but I'm really not sure. It gets so very lonely being on my own and I do in many ways miss the male companionship. Then like yesterday when I was playing tug a war with the contractor about my shower stall and he was trying to force me into something I didn't want, I got annoyed and mentally told myself that I didn't need someone around to take charge of things. I guess time will tell. I think if I had a group of girlfriends to go out and do things with, I might never want to get into another relationship. Who knows. I'm in no hurry and will wait until we get out of this house and I'm able to relax a bit. My realtor called today and I told her that our time frame had been blown and how disasterous this who ensuite idea was. She felt bad. I also told her that I wasn't satisfied with the number she came up with for my property and that we'd have to sit back down and talk some more about it. She said it had to be an amount that I am comfortable with so I will keep on looking at the housing prices in my area or get a free estimate from another realtor that works this area. So many things to think about. That's when I do miss having someone as a sounding board to help me figure out if I'm making the best decisions.I just sit back, close my eyes, and ask Len what he thinks.Sometimes I feel like I get answers.

Time to take a little break then get back out into the sunshine and work on my yard. Hope you're having a great day!

Hugs,
Tracie
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Reply by Melinda
04 Jun 2014, 1:17 AM

If I have to sell, I will be in a mess also! Alot of things have not been done, or have to be re-done because of very poor workmanship. We built behind the old house and it has not been torn down yet..3 old sheds need to be gone...garage needs to be moved and we have absolutely no landscraping done! I really envy you your flower beds and yard!!
Anyway back to the Doctor again...the puffers he gave me to try really did not work as well as expected...so he gave me another kind to try and so far they seem better. Also talked about my depression and fatique and weight gain. He wants me to try a low dose of anti-depression medication and see if that helps. He also kept asking if I wanted a holiday from Stan (not quite sure what he meant by that!). So I will ask him to clarify when I see him again in two weeks.
Stan is getting worse again. The bleeding is slowly coming back...and he is cold again..also alot of complaining about a very sore shoulder. The cancer is in his bones and I pray this is not what is going on! So we will see what the Doctors have to say on the 16th of June about this.
And if he will be offered any more treatment. Okay off to bed, just wanted to complain again LOL! Chat soon.  Melinda
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Reply by marstin
04 Jun 2014, 6:11 AM

Hi Melinda,

You just keep on complaining. Are you going to try the antidepressants? I have two bottles of them sitting here from two different appointments with my doc and I keep forgetting to start them. Who knows why. I'm think I'm afraid they will make me more tired or less able to function. Having been on that kind of medication before, I know they can help but I also fear that they will make me feel stoned and I won't have Len here to tell me if I'm being weird. Silly isn't it? Hmm, I wonder what the doctor did mean about if you wanted a holiday from Stan. I guess he's seeing how this is affecting your health and trying to figure out a way to help you.

Poor Stan. It seems like it's one thing and then another. It just seems so unfair. Stupid cancer! I was going through Len's email account today and deleting most of it. It made me sad to come across ones about wedding dresses when I was looking for one, his final trip to the cabin, even ones from craigslist when we were looking for building materials. All those memories coming back and I think 'This should never have gone this way'.

Our house is such a overwhelming place to be. Even with some of the work moving ahead, it is very stressful. That ensuite is a real pain and expensive. The shower stall I bought long ago won't fit through the doorways so now I've had to buy a new one that I can ill afford plus the showerhead etc. The plumbers ran into many issues along the way so the cost of that went up. I know that my brother in law is feeling so bad about all of this. He is doing what he can to help around here but he sees the mountain that I've been climbing the past two years and doesn't know how he can make it better. I would like to hire a dumpster and a bunch of helpers and just throw everything out. Between stuff and unfinished jobs around here, I just want to run away. Never again will I live like this.I want to take very little with us when we move. Thank goodness I do have my flowerbeds to escape to. One of my neighbors young daughter's came over the other day and worked away in the garden with me. I think she pulled out more plants than weeds but I sure enjoyed the company and liked being able to see the world through the eyes of a child.

Well, I guess I'd better get myself off to bed. Those workers like to start early. Lol! 

Hugs,
Tracie
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Reply by Melinda
04 Jun 2014, 11:06 AM

hummm...I do wonder about the antidepressants. I just started two days ago and don't feel any different yet (not any more tired or sluggish). But I am tired of being tired all the time and gaining so much weight....and not wanting to do all the stuff I have always wanted to do. The Doctor did point out something interesting...not only am I coping with a dying husband...I am also living with an alcoholic and all their behaviors...so a couple whammy.  The Doctor says I am "all about stress" right now. Sort of explains the weight gain..I have been eating carbs like crazy to feel better. So hopefully I will feel better and stop that coping behaviour!! And you! Perhaps you would put on a few pounds, eh lol!
Our houses are all about downsizing!! So proud you are going to move with very little...I can hardly wait to hire a dumpster and get rid of junk. Stan and I are opposites...I don't hang on to stuff and he is a hoarder. This has caused many a disagreement.  Also my take on life...
I don't want to leave my kids with junk they have to go through and get rid of..not fair to them.  Have a great day Tracie (well the best you can considering ;).   Melinda
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Reply by marstin
04 Jun 2014, 5:04 PM

I think we all find ways of coping with our stress and some of them are not so great. I'm a huge coffee drinker so I guess that's part of what supresses my appetite. Living with an alcoholic is never an easy thing even if they quit drinking. I always thought it would be different and I guess in some ways it was, but the basic personality stayed the same.

I hear you on the hoarding issue. It took Len an extra 3 weeks to move his garage stuff down to this house when we bought it. When we talked about clearing stuff out of here he would say 'I know it doesn't make sense to you but we should start with the garage'. I never went out there until after he passed away and I was in for a major shock. You could barely get in the door. It was piled so high with stuff that I didn't even know where to start. His stuff mostly. My stepdaughter rented a storage bin last summer and we gradually moved things out into it so that we could figure out what to do. We did that for about 5 weeks and sold things off but never did get finished. I'm at the point now that if I can find people to help me, I will get a dumpster and clear out the garage and the house and do a happy dance. Like you, I don't want to leave my kids with excess junk. My oldest has been a bit of a hoarder herself but she has been throwing out bags and bags of stuff and wants to streamline her life too. They've had to live this overwhelming mountain of garbage and hate it.

I think today that I will gather some stuff and take it to the thrift store while the workers carry on. It's gray outside and matches my mood today and truthfully I would just like to hide away but there is no escape.

Hope you're having a good day and that the sun is shining on you :)

Hugs,
Tracie
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