Hi there! It's a quiet Saturday morning. Can't see the river..its covered with fog..but its so calm and peaceful. Hope when you are reading this you are back from the cabin and feeling calm and peaceful also. Sorry about the anniversary coming up for you and your family.
I know exactly how you feel. Its sort of a lingering sadness that builds up until the day arrives. For a couple of years my daughter and I would always make sure to be together the day her sister and my youngest daughter died. But its been five years now and the pain has dulled somewhat. Holidays are still hard..and birthdays. Speaking of birthdays, mine was yesterday and Stan bought me the most beautiful Ruby Ring! He told me how much he appreciated me and that he knew it was hard on me with him being sick. I was so touched I cried. We where also married for two years yesterday (yes, we got married on my birthday!)
Anyway we where at the Doctor's on Thursday and the Doctor told Stan that he did not think radiation was an option anymore. And he told him all the spots the bone scan showed. Skull, shoulders, sternum, back, one hip, one arm. All the spots that Stan is complaining about. Now, Stan had a fall on the cement floor a couple of weeks ago. He was ok and there was no bruising, etc...but he is now telling everyone that the bone scan is showing bruising where he hit himself during his fall. Aren't his rose coloured glasses amazing!!!!!!!!!!!
But another thing is going on now..he is having alot of double vision that comes and goes.
The Doctor says they would do a skull scan if it gets worse...Stan did say to me yesterday that he would not agree to radiation to his brain..but we'll see. So the Doctor does not want to see us for four to six weeks now...but to call if there was a problem. So this is very telling to me. Oh and yes, Stan is now taking his pain meds...but he is dosing himself which is not a good thing. He forgets if he took a pill and then takes another. But they are only 1mg so apparently its not a concern right now...eventually I will take control of them.
Oh and his neck is bleeding again...so the radiation to stop the bleeding only worked for a month. He bled alot a couple of days ago in his sleep. I managed to get the blood out of the sheets and the bed skirt. I put plastic around the box spring and I already had a mattress protector on the mattress. Thank goodness! So everyday is a challenge now...which I am sure sounds familiar to you.
No, I have not had the kayak out yet, but soon....my neighbour and I are going into the city on Wednesday and I am buying myself a new bike! Very excited about this! I am sure it will help alot with the stress...can hardly wait! Yes, I am enjoying my cut hours and I am very fortunate I have a job where I can do this. Getting caught up on alot of stuff and still have time for Stan and his needs..don't feel as frustrated as I did when working full time.
Lordy, I better stop or your eyes will be glazing over!! lol! Thanks again Tracie for listening. You take care and will chat soon. Melinda