Hi,
The unspoken is often the hardest thing to take. For Len, I think the impact was when we went to back to the cancer agency and the doctor gently said that there was no more that they could do. We had joked with the hospital transport guy on the way there (he was in hospital at that time) and on the way back we were extremely quiet. After he got Len back up to his room, he came outside where I was having a smoke, and questioned the swing in moods. All he could say after that was 'God bless you' and walked away with tears in his eyes. Still though, you never quit hoping I think. Sometime's miracles happen and Len wanted that one miracle to be his. I think we all fight to survive so it's never over until it's over. Hope keeps them going.
The lessening of the intake of food and drink is normal. We tried everything possible to encourage Len to take in calories but he had no interest as time went on. Don't feel guilty if you can't make him drink it. There comes a point where the body does not need anything and no matter what you try, it will not work. Hard thing to accept because we want them to keep trying even if they don't want to.
I can imagine how stressful this all is for you. You go through the motions of living but you are exhausted and don't know what there still is to come before things come to an end. We quietly suffer and as they sleep, we watch and wonder what life will be like when they're gone.
How nice of your friend to think of you and want to take you out for the day. It might do you some good to be able to focus on something other than the situation at home. My only respite was long talks with the male nurse we had, we bacame very close friends, and my daily trips to my mom's to take her for groceries or whatever she needed. I wish I'd had a friend to take me away from it all for a few hours.
Hang in there. I'm here anytime you want to share.
Hugs,
Tracie