Dear Blackcat,
i just just saw your post. Yes, let go of the fractured relationships...keep your energy and focus on your mom and her care
as a caregiver and having seen a lot of my residents as they struggled with age and illness, my personal point of view - and it's what I would want if I was in your moms shoes.....
this is hard to put into words and I hope you will understand
your mom needs you to let her have what she wants to eat - even if it is the same thing every day. At least an omelet is nutricious:)
i woukd suggest that you try and give her what she will eat and drink, but you can't force her
i have watched and had to stand by silently while the powers that be - weigh weekly each resident, and if there's a drop in weight they immediately prescribe/order boost or energy drinks to increase calorie intake.
its fine to try that, but it usually doesnt matter, the resident or senior will refuse or just take sips.
quality of life is making the patient comfortable and free of pain. Does that make sense to you? I am not with you, I cannot see what you see, but from what you have said about your mom, I am thinking that forcing drinks and food she want or won't eat is a pointless venture....you can try and then let it go.
you are doing all you can to be the best caregiver, I sense that. I hope my note comes across as supportive and not in any way judging.....just trying to let you know it's a battle you can't always win.;)
But having said that, it's the trying that matters....we always keep trying....just don't feel guilty, it's not your fault.
sending you my thoughts,
Best wishes
NatR :)