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Reply by jaindough

09 Oct 2014, 2:26 PM

Jenn has some really great suggestions for you.

What helped me to not feel so alone was to skype wih my husband and son on a regular basis. It wasn't a perfect substitute but it was a great help that I could see them as I spoke with them. Maybe you can try that with your partner.

Also, when I was really feeling crummy, I would call one of our family friends who were so supportive during that time, and just get together over coffee and chat. Even if all we chatted about was the weather, it didn't matter. It was just nice to be with someone to pass a bit of the time with.

Good therpy for me is cooking something. I love to lose myself in just focusing on the recipe at hand and forget about everything else for an hour or so. Gardening and painting also do this for me. Maybe you have an acivity that you can do that would help you do this?

I also agree with stress having a tremendous impact on our physical health. I felt horrible when things were most stressful and it seems like I am just now starting to feel better physically. Sore back, sore joints (inexplicably) and insomnia were my biggest issues. Try to take time out for you, just even if it is a 15 minute walk in the fresh air.

Hope this helps a little.

-JD

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Reply by Kika

03 Dec 2014, 8:42 PM

hi all

I haven't been logging on for awhile. Mom was in and out of hospital and we were doing what we could at home to take care of her. The days just passed. Time for emails, friends, for any of the 'other' stuff just didn't seem important.

Mom had been permanently in hospital since November 4th. At that time the care we could provide at home just wasn't enough. She got into quite a nice routine in hospital with the visitors, staff and our visits. My brother and I would come up 4 or 5 times a day for visits. On two occasions we even got her home for a couple of hours.

Now I sit at her bedside daily. On friday things got to a point that it was best to sedate her and make her comfy. She has been 'asleep' since. She had a day of waking up in 'terror' and yelling but that has since subsided. She is now peaceful and comfy.

We are in the final stages now.. And she will pass soon. It is now the hardest on us.. Watching her slowly slip away. we have given her permission to go, we have said what we had to. Now the departure is up to her now.

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Reply by jorola

03 Dec 2014, 10:15 PM

Hello Kika,

I am sorry your mom and your family have had to go through this however I must say you have done it with strength and given your mom has much comfort, peace, dignity and love as posible. May her pasing be painless and peaceful and you and your family find strength and love with each other in the days to come.

Jodie

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Reply by EastCoastPEI

03 Dec 2014, 11:07 PM

Kika it sounds like you've been amazing for her. in all of this process, which yes is filled with such pain and exhaustion, it is still a gift to have time to spend with loved ones like this before they pass...even if it doesn't feel like a gift now.

I wish you and your family all the strength to get through this as best you can.

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Reply by KathCull_admin

05 Dec 2014, 3:57 PM

Thank you for the update Kika. As EastCoastPEI and Jorola said so well, you have been amazing and shown your mom so much love.

I am glad you, your mom and brother have been able to spend good time together over the last weeks. You mentioned being able to get your mom home a few times too – what a gift for her to see her home and her ‘things’, and then knowing that she could go back to the support in the hospital – and you both could get rest as well.

“Now the departure is up to her,” what gentle, loving words.

Take care Kika

Katherine

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Reply by Kika

06 Dec 2014, 11:28 PM

Hi everyone,

Thanks for for your kind words.

We lost mom at 630 am this morning. My brother and I were by her side holding her hands as she passed. She went peacefully.

although it is very sad.....we know she is at peace now. She is reunited with my father (he passed away 12 years ago).

kika

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Reply by jaindough

06 Dec 2014, 11:45 PM

My heart felt condolences to you, kika. You have been so strong through this journey alongside your mom. I wish you peace in your life and a comfort in knowing your mom is now at rest.

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Reply by KathCull_admin

07 Dec 2014, 1:31 AM

My sympathy Kika.
Katherine

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Reply by jorola

07 Dec 2014, 2:05 AM

I am so sorry for your loss Kika but glad your mom passed quietly and peacefully. You nd your family hold each other close and may you also find peace

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Reply by worried daughter

07 Dec 2014, 4:15 PM

I am very sorry for your loss Kika. It is a blessing that you were with her, be gentle with yourself.

Tracy

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