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Sibling dispute  
Started by katew
01 Mar 2015, 1:16 AM

For the last 15 months I have cared for my mom who has Dementia.  My sisters' have grudges from things that happened in the family over 10 years ago.  So now, my sister who is general guardian has placed mom in the nursing home, which she needs.  I am on a list of people who cannot see mom or even call to see how she is.  I am 4 miles from the nursing home.  Mom and I have been fine, it is my sisters' that hold grudges.  I want to be able to see mom as I promised her in 2013 when she was scared that I would go through this with her, she would never be alone.  How do I get my sisters' to realize by "locking me out" of seeing mom is not in mom's best interest and they will regret this.  Monday will be 9 weeks since I have seen mom.  I don't have money for a lawyer. What can I say or send to my sister who is guardian to show her she is making to wrong decision?  I do not fight, holler, I just want to see mom and be with her until the end as I promised.  My sisters' need to realize this is about mom and not anyone else's feelings.  Mom should come first.  
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Reply by NatR
01 Mar 2015, 4:10 AM

Dear Katew,

i am very  sorry to hear what has happened with your sister and your mom.
that a really tough

my suggestion would be to contact Legal Aid in your community? Perhaps they can help 
I don't know personally what can be done to get around your sisters refusal to allow you visitation,

perhaps someone else will answer this post and give you some pointers.
but you have found a supportive place to talk and vent / and gain ideas.

my heart goes out to you
best wishes
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Reply by JennJilks
01 Mar 2015, 8:06 AM

I am totally shocked. I do not know how they can say the you cannot visit. Surely that would take a court order, not a directive from a miserable sibling.
I'm thinking you could talk to a lawyer, or threaten this to staff. You are a daughter.
I am so sorry. 
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Reply by JennJilks
01 Mar 2015, 9:03 PM

Is there any way to make peace with your siblings? This is quite typical of families, I must admit. 
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Reply by Carlyn
23 Jul 2015, 6:08 PM

Katew, I've had a bit of experience with this. I've clicked on your name but can't tell if you've been here recently.

Is everything resolved now? How are you? And your family?

I'm new here and unsure of all the tech tools. Will try to bookmark this thread so I can check in periodically and see if you're here.

Thinking positive for you and your family. This a really upsetting situation I know.  
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