Hi Razz / April 01
Razz - you are such a good mother - yes we are all nuturer's and life givers (your daughter) & we do what we do for our children (regardless of their age)., its tough at times allowing them to live their own lives while we sit back or watch or howevr you want to perceive it., but it is THEIR life now. They have to live it and go through their own experiences to be who they are going to become.
I had a real tough decision to make when I was 19 one of the toughest ever and I asked my mom what she thought and what would she do and she said Mary I'm sorry but I can not give you my thoughts on this at the time, I can't. Once you make your decision then we can talk - I was so upset and thought she did not care or love me anymore - I got mad & then she said some words to me I will never forget as long as I live and I hope to live up to them myself. She passed away in 2008 so....
My mom said - Mary I raised you to know what it right and wrong, I hope I given you the correct tools that you need in life & you are your own person & this is your life you are living. but now I can not share my opinion or thoughts on your situation because it may sway your decision one way or the other - this is a major life decision which you have to make on your own - for your own reasons, no one else can make it for you nor should they. I will stand by you regardless of what your decision is but it is yours alone to make. So once you make your decision then we can talk. WOW HUH
I think about those words regarding my own child who is 18 and yes same applies. you are doing a great j ob as a mom and she is so lucky to have you there when the babe arrives regardless of what her situation is with her man - you are her light and love - how lovely is that. For as much as you feel towards him - you can't tell me she doesn't already know that right...she'll work it out on her own., she will. Congrat & Hugs to you Grandma :)
APRIL 01 - Glad your pallative care team is there for you and they are listening and changing the meds & they are answering your questions or giving you answers to you. I am glad Eric has shared with you about his dream re: god and he will let you know., that is good.
When I spoke of my friend & my son in an earlier msg I was trying to get across which did not come across - you know your husband best - you do - I know that as well as everyone else here. But where I was going with that was if he had a close friend of cor-worker someone who was not family as I was to Monique. She shared with me because she could not share with them, she did not want to ADD to their stress or worry, that is why I was ok to talk too. My son's dad did the same thing while he was in hospital before ICU & when he finally could talk coherently enough, he shared with friends butnot family or me, how he was scared or how he thought of death etc. - why because they LOVE us and do not want to add to it - you know what I mean. So that was my thought - it is not because he does not love you - not at all. They have so much to think on and I was always thankful wayne shared with them with his friends, a form of release - getting it out - good for him. They of course would then share with me at beginning I was like well he never said nothing to me and his friend said he won't. You have your son to deal with & the dr's and you have enough on your plate.
So that is why I mentioned that - MAYBE just maybe - your soulmate Eric has already shared with his friends or priest or brother, I am not sure but hopefully there is or was an avenue there for him. Just my way of kinda getting across to you - he may need to talk to someone other than you - to share to not add to your plate - that is just how they see it / feel it / because of the love and caring they have for us.
Hope you are getting rest & I will post later today - hugs (stay strong - chin up)