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It is over 
Started by Kirstie
16 Nov 2015, 12:24 AM

On Octber 23rd my wonderful sweet husband died at 53.  He died of respiratory depression because of a hydromorphine overdose.  He died after being told that he was not having trouble breathing, it was only another panic attack.  He knew it was not, but the nurses refused to give him oxygen.  He was looking at me with such terror in his eyes, trying desperatly to breathe.  It was horrible.  He did not deserve to die so agonizingly.  He was just a good, sweet soul.  It breaks by heart that I could not help him.  I miss him every second of every day.
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Reply by KathCull_admin
16 Nov 2015, 2:20 AM

Dear Kirstie
Words seem so inadequate - but please know that my heart goes out to you.

I do not want to mimimize the helplessness you experienced when Gord was having such difficulty breathing, but when you say it breaks your heart that you could not help him - I was thinking that just as you had been there for him over the last months, making sure the treatment, medication and care were in place - you were there with him when he died. You helped him as much as you could. 

Thinking of you Kirstie.


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Reply by Carlyn
16 Nov 2015, 2:21 AM

Dear Kirstie

I am sorry your husband died. My heart goes out to you tonight. 

Have you spoken to any of his physicians or anyone in charge of the nurses regarding the circumstances of your husband's death?  I hope you are or have done. You need some peace for that... grief is already a lot without those extra circumstances. At least I mean to say I wish you peace with that but I know it will take time. 

Thank you for sharing with us here so we can offer support. In addition to us, do you have anyone supporting you through this time? 

I'm keeping you in my thoughts. 


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Reply by JennJilks
16 Nov 2015, 2:00 PM

I am so sorry for your pain and your loss. What a tragedy.
Nothing we say will bring him back. You can take comfort in that you were there supporting him.

I hope time helps. 
I know those last moments must have been terrible. For your sanity, try put them out of your mind. When those images return, put them out of your mind and replace them with happy times. 

You can document what happened. Note the names and the times, and the powers-that-be will be able to determine who was there, who was consulted.
If you feel there should be something done about it, your best bet, I think, is to report the nurse, or whomever told you the information, to their corresponding college. You can Google: 'reporting a doctor for misconduct' in your province or territory, and you will find what you need to do.

It took me months to get to this point, but after dad died I reported his doctor to the College of Physicians. I was happy that when the College calls the doctor they jump. High. They worked with the nurses, as well, to improve circumstances in the nurses office, too. I know I improved the situation for those who would follow, and his other patients in the long-term care.
I hope you find some comfort. Let us know how you are doing. 
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Reply by April01
23 Nov 2015, 1:42 AM

I am so very sorry for your loss. I too just lost my husband on November 8. He turned 55 on the 3rd of November. This feeling that I know we both have is the most terrible feeling in the world. There are moments that I do not think I will get through to the next minute but somehow I do.  I am so angry right now and  hope some day I will get over it but I really am not in a hurry for that. I am so sorry and unfortunatly we are on the same road. Hugs
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