I have lots of beautiful fun filled memories to fondly look back on. I am very fortunate. I am blessed with a wonderful husband, children, family and friends. All in all I have a pretty good life. I can reminisce about past Christmas’s excitement when the children were young. Christmas Eve desperately trying to get them into bed so I could finish wrapping presents. Lovingly sending them back to bed at 3am with the excuse “it’s too early, Santa isn’t even up yet” only to give in at around 5:30am and welcome Christmas! We usually had the presents opened, breakfast done, a few games played and were ready to head back to bed for a nap around 7:30am.
When I think about all of the special days throughout the year; Easter, Valentines, Anniversaries, Birthdays, Mother’s Day, Father’s Day, they all come with memories and smiles over the years. However I have no fond memories of March 7, 2010. March 7th is my sad day as that is the day my oldest daughter Karalee passed away from cancer at 23 years old.
I find I am still able to enjoy all of the yearly holidays although Karalee is no longer with us. I like to reminisce and talk about past holidays while we are making new memories. I don’t think I make a point of talking about her on the various holidays but she comes naturally into the conversation as we chat about previous years and events that happened.
Whenever I think of St. Patrick’s Day I will always remember the time Karalee had a green Mohawk and my husband painted his head green for the celebrations at the legion. At Christmas Karalee was the skinniest Santa you had ever seen but she dressed up in a Santa costume so the kids at the mall near our home could have their pictures taken with Santa for free. At Halloween she volunteered at Boo at the Zoo and was the crankiest flying monkey as she really wanted to be a fairy princess… which she ended up being!
A lot of people say it must be really hard for you at Christmas or Mother’s Day but actually I miss her every day. I find my hardest day is actually the day she died. So for me holidays are times of fond memories and laughter. However March 7 will only remind me of loss and heartache. It is the only day of the year I struggle to find anything happy to think about. I try really hard to focus on being thankful and blessed that Karalee was a part of my life for 23ish years but no matter how hard I try I dread March the 7th!
By : Kim