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Managing when life's busy-ness swirls around us 
Créé par moderator | modératrice
02 nov. 2013, 12 h 35

Fall dayIt was quiet on Virtual Hospice's forums this week. Have we all gone into hibernation?

The days are getting shorter. The leaves are almost gone from the trees or perhaps they are all gone where you live. As the earth gets ready for the season on slumber, people continue to be busier and busier. I can imagaine that it is isolating to see the busy-ness of life swirling around you.

What does the busy routine of life matter when your heart is breaking or you are just doing what you have to do?
Réponse de NatR
12 nov. 2013, 0 h 09

Hi Colleen,

you are right, I think it's the time of year, the change in the weather, the time change.

on top of that, it's the time of year Christmas sales promotions begin.  Anyone who is dealing with caregiving and /or loss, could care less about the business of preparing for a holiday!

anyone care to add their comments?  I frankly feel overwhelmed by the changes in my life, the darkened evenings, the bitter cold.... It's -20 with windchill in northern Ontario tonight !

i know many others are struggling with much more than myself - so I am sending encouragement to those readers - who are dealing with so many feelings, life changes, grief and worries.

hang in there - we will make it, one day at a time.

thanks for asking Colleen.  
Réponse de KathCull_admin
31 oct. 2015, 18 h 12

I was looking for yard waste paper bags in the store this morning - didn't find any, but found the Halloween candy and costumes were being moved to the centre aisles to allow room on the shelves for Christmas decorations, Christmas candy and artificial Christmas trees.

Change in the store aisles, change in the weather, change in the clock, change in my life. Like you NatR sometimes I feel overwhelmed with all the changes and things that need doing. I want to just Stop. This is one of those days.  

It's comforting to sit quietly, watch the wind sway the few leaves that are left on the tree and just Be. 

Réponse de Wingman
02 nov. 2015, 1 h 43

Think I am having one of those days as well. Changes to my routine, my priorities...changes in how I interact with my friend with terminal cancer. I don't share with her the way I used to- I have allowed the disease to alter my life. I feel like I have failed us.both at times- not always...but sometimes- more so lately.
 Looking at a clinical trial now- chemo resistance has become apparent. 
Still traveling a difficult road.
Réponse de Carlyn
06 nov. 2015, 0 h 33

Thanks to all of you for this forum. It's comforting to read all your words and recognize similarities. I'm still adjusting to the forums and balancing it with life circumstances. I hope to always be here to offer a kind word at least. There is a great wealth of articles here and i've been reading a lot and trying to remember to look for them. 

My family has had some major life changes this year and a few very dear friends are dealing with a lot. Everyone is trying to be strong and handle things on their own which is the norm in my circle. It's funny because we're all very independent. We've set up our lives as such and find those we're closest to are also independent. When the chips start to fall or even fade though, it can be tough to reach out as we're each discovering. Or maybe I'm the one discovering. I'm the one that used to be there for each of them. It's just the normal way we operated and so this past year has been very uncomfortable for all of us.  I've been down with health issues and no use really to anyone for two years now and that's an unnatural state for me and them so we've had a rough year all around.

The holiday season IS a lot - agreeing with Nat -  and I hope to be here and add my voice to anyone else trying to get through. All I can do is share that I've been there but from what I remember of grief in the immediate years, that always had a big impact when someone did it for me. 

I'm thinking of everyone and holding healing thoughts for all.

Réponse de Nouce
08 nov. 2015, 2 h 13

Greetings to all. It is dark by 6 now, and Pablo, following an afternoon drive with me, is tired and wants to go to bed. I'm thankful that now he is in a care facility I can call young strong people to get him there safely. I feel a sense of anxiety, or dread, as the holidays approach. So many holiday years now with the shadows of death hanging over us, and with all the heavy family dymanics that reality adds into the mix.

I am so busy with my work, but I feel a strong urge to hibernate--run away! But instead I will keep plodding.

I'm grateful you all are there, who share the load.





Réponse de Gungadin
20 août 2018, 17 h 11

I lost my husband and best friend eight months ago and as busy as I keep myself, I too just want to run away. i understand the grieving processand try to ride the different waves as they come but feel like they are never ending. Right now I am back at angry but I know that will change again. I have never been on my own and though I am capable, I feel so stuck. I feel like I have to reinvent myself but where do I even start. My head is a muddle.
Réponse de Simone Stenekes (
11 oct. 2018, 20 h 55


We are so sorry to hear about the death of your husband and best friend. The muddle of grief can be overwhelming and seem so constant. Hopefully you are starting to experience small breaks in the waves, so at least there is a bit of calm before the next wave starts to pull you again.

The emotions can be so strong and you can feel helpless as they seem to take over at their own will, with a force too difficult to control.

A website about grief, might be helpful to you. It has modules that you can look at, and wonderful videos about others who have experienced grief that are most helpful and informative. They help you realize you are not alone. If you are feeling isolated and want some companionship with others who are grieving and understand what you are going through, perhaps there is a grief group that you can attend.

We are thinking of you as you reinvent yourself amidst your grief and loss,

Simone (CVH Discussion Forums Moderator)

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